A Diarrhea of Pictures

I really shouldn’t be posting. I should be working on my new domain, but I can’t help it. It’s driving me insane and right now, and I just need the comfort of sticking to something that is basic and straightforward. Besides, I have tons and tons of pictures. So brace yourself. This post is gonna be a picture-diarrhea.

I usually only take pictures of food, but recently I’ve been taking more pictures of people, and less of food. I just haven’t been eating anything too interesting, since my parents are basically kimchi-and-rice people, and I don’t want to fill the fridge with “my” food (i.e: cheese) when I’ll be leaving in about 2 weeks.

Thus, I’ve found a more interesting model…My cousin! She flew in to Virginia to visit for the holidays, since otherwise she would be all alone in San Francisco…Say hi to Clara!
Isn’t she cute? She’s 2 years younger than me, the same age as my brother.
And yeah, we look nothing alike.

Today, I took her to Washington D.C to take some pictures. My brother was our chauffeur, and his best friend, Chulhan, tagged along so my brother wouldn’t be the only male.

We basically stuck to a few tourist spots, just so Clara could brag to her friends that she visited the nation’s capitol. We went to the Washington Monument:
Clara and I:
My brother and Chulhan:
We also went to the World War II Memorial:
Hey, California!
I want to go back to the warm sunny weather…What can I say? I’m a wimp when it comes to cold weathers!

My brother makes the sketchiest expressions…
Clara makes the cutest expressions…
And I just look so damn cool whatever expression or poses I make!
I bitch about how boring DC is, but I had no idea how beautiful and well-kept it can be…even in the winter with bald trees!
God was definitely on our side today. The weather was actually perfect!
Final stop was the Lincoln Memorial:
Hi, Lincoln, old fella! Watcha up to?
Poor Lincoln, sitting there all day watching idiots like me taking pictures of him looking at me…
And then we stopped by for Starbucks. I’ve been deprived of coffee in my parents’ house, so my first real-brewed coffee (not the instant crap) in several days tasted like liquid crack to me!
Oh, Starbucks God, I worship thee! (Please don’t report me for heresy)
I’ve also been baking up a storm! C & H Sugar generously provided me with a $20 gift certificate to pay for baking supplies to bake from their recipe collection. Check out their ample selection here…It took me several hours to read through each recipe, and I finally decided on four. I made the first two yesterday.

First, Crunchy Granola!
Easiest recipe ever…just mix ingredients together, and bake!
 Oats, maple syrup, walnuts, coconut, sunflower seeds, C & H brown sugar, vegetable oil, cinnamon…The only changes I made was I used half-honey half-maple syrup, and added almonds and ground ginger. Bake for 45 minutes…
And the BEST granola ever. Honestly. It was superb. I let my dad sample some, and he demanded I make another batch for him. Yes, demanded. This is hot stuff!
All packaged and ready to send to some special people…:-)

I also baked their Cinnamon Apple Coffee Cake:
The only difference I made was that I used butter instead of oil, and I made it in four layers rather than three.
The result? Utter bliss. This was chock-full of apples! And sooo rich and moist…Amazing!
Even my cousin, who insists that she “hates” cinnamon, couldn’t stop eating it.
Can you see the four alternating layers of apples, cinnamon-sugar, and rich cake? Yumm…

Already, both recipes I’ve tested turned out hugely successful. I can’t wait to try out the other two recipes I have in mind from C & H Sugar’s recipe collection! Thanks, C & H!

In addition to those two goodies, I also tried my own savory version of nuts:

Zesty Nuts

• 1 stick butter
• 4 cups whole walnuts
• 4 cups peanuts
• 1 cup sesame seeds
• grated Parmesan (the one that comes in a can)
• dried Italian herb mix
• Paprika
• Worcestershire sauce
• Tabasco sauce
• salt and pepper

Directions: Melt butter over stove-top. Stir in walnuts, peanuts, and sesame seeds. Mix in the spices and seasonings, according to taste. Spread into a baking sheet, and bake at 350 degrees in the oven until nice and crunchy.

I actually thought it was pretty good…It has a distinct, savory flavor, with a buttery, yet crunchy texture. My parents, however, thought it needed some honey. They like their nuts caramelized and sweet.
Here’s the zesty nuts, packaged:
I used Martha Stewart’s gift bags. Not sure I like the woman, but she does have a great sense of style.

I’ve also been writing my hand off in cards!

Ah, winter holidays. I actually really enjoy doing all these stuff, but thank goodness it’s only once a year, because otherwise, my expression would probably look like this:

Hahahaha! Just had to share it, because it cracks me up every time I look at it!

I’ve got to jet now, but I forgot to say the most important thing ever…

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Question of the day: What are you baking/making for the holidays?

I Am My Poison

I feel…like I’ve had a big weight lifted off my chest. I feel so light and relieved inside, I’m almost convinced that if I were to jump, I would leap 800 feet into the air!

Remember the little bullahoo over the friend whom I thought betrayed me? Well, I met up with her for lunch today, and it’s all over. No, not our friendship, but the misunderstanding and anger I’ve held against her. We had a good, casual talk, and I got to hear her point of the story…and boy, do I feel so much better!

No, I still don’t entirely understand why she had to lie to me, nor do I understand why she had to do what she did. But you know what? It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just so relieved that we got a chance to bring everything to the table, face-to-face. We had an honest discussion, in which I expressed all my hurts and anger, and she responded by answering them honestly and sincerely.

And now…I’ve realized that I had overreacted. I had jumped into conclusions, and more misunderstandings arose because of that. I’ve also had a chance to think back more rationally about the past long friendship we had…all the ups and downs we’d endured together, and I’ve realized that there is no freaking way I want to lose our friendship just because of a petty grievance. In the light of our entire friendship, I would be a fool to let such a trivial matter break us up.

Honestly, my anger and confusion towards her have been crushing and stifling me these past few weeks. How ironical that I named the title of that angry post about her “Poisoned.” In truth, it was my own self-righteous anger and pride that was poisoning me. And even if I don’t completely understand…I’ve decided that I really need to let loose of this anger, because it is nothing but poison—not only for our old friendship, but to my own soul, my own peace of mind.

Thus I’ve let it go. And I feel…so freaking FREE!

I wonder if the contentment from good food helped. It sure didn’t hurt that we chose a restaurant that was favorable to both the wallet and the taste bud!

We (my friend, my brother and I) went to a local Thai restaurant called Born:
It is a small place next to an Americanized Chinese restaurant and a shady market, but the interior was pleasantly modern and clean.

I loved how each table was adorned with a single real rose:
The prices were amazingly cheap, too!
 $4.99 for a lunch entree! That’s even better than McDonald’s! We ordered a lot of dishes to share.

First up was Chicken satay:
 Skewers grill of spices marinated chicken served with cucumber relish & peanut-lemon-basil dipping
  These chicken was definitely fresh-grilled, you could taste that smoky grilled char on the surface. The spices were lovely; not too strong, but with definite oomph.
However, the peanut dressing was a little on the sweet side. I guess some people like that, but I’d rather have a spicier and more savory dressing.
 We also ordered a plate of Crispy Veggies Spring Roll:
 Fried spring rolls stuffed with taro, carrot, cabbage & bean thread served with sweet chili dipping
 Yum! I loved the toasted sesame seeds on top, and the spring rolls came freshly fried, so the exterior was delightfully crunchy!
I was surprised how fresh the vegetables inside tasted, considering that they’ve been deep-fried.

For our entrees, I ordered the drunken noodles with chicken:

Chicken sautéed with a spicy chili basil sauce, tomato onion & flat rice noodle
 I forgot to ask for “as spicy as possible”, but this turned out to be plenty spicy! AWESOME! I hate it when restaurants Americanize dishes and the “spicy” dish turns out to be mellow, with just an extra sprinkle of black pepper.

Not sure I understand what these curly carrot garnish is for, but they were pretty!
My friend ordered the same thing, but fried rice-style:
 Rice fried with spicy chili basil sauce, with shrimp
My brother, upon my request, ordered the Crispy Noodle Cake with Seafood:
 Bangkok’s night market style of light yellow bean-garlic gravy & broccoli over crispy egg noodle tossed with white pepper
Oh em gii! I loved this. The noodles are crispy like uncooked ramen noodles, but turn springy and soft from that flavorful gravy…And it was quite a flavorful and rich gravy!
And again, what’s up with the carrot garnish?
The portions were quite small. At least, they were for three hungry Asians, so we ordered another plate of drunken fried-rice… And we were surprised with this!
A full dinner plate of drunken fried-rice!
With mussels too!
That was incredibly nice of the chef to prepare a whole dinner plate with the works for us! Maybe it was my camera? Either way, I’m definitely returning to this place! >.<

Unfortunately, we had to pay for tea:
But it was good tea, and the server refilled it about 5 times, so I think we got our money’s worth.

You know, I’ve come to realize that most of the time, I am my own inflictor. It was true with this certain relationship conflict, it was true for my dilemma on returning home, and it was certainly true for my own eating disorder that had ravaged me for 4 years.

There will always be problems in my life, and there will always be things that simply irritate or bother me…but it is up to me to ultimately face it with a positive mindset, and deal with it the healthy way. For me, that is to view things in the perspective of Christ, and to pray and ask God for detailed guidance, power and strength to overcome them. Otherwise, if I just keep it inside of me and let it fester, it will become a deadly poison, leeching off my inner peace and  happiness.

Sigh. There are so many things I need to change, and as the new year commences, I’ve been reflecting on these more than usual. I’ll share them soon, but let me organize them in my head first.

Question of the day: What kind of self-infliction do you usually bring upon yourself? How do you resolve that?

 

To You

You do the math: Thanksgiving + ridiculously early “dinner” + big-ass turkey + too many desserts + amazing people + big container of leftovers for midnight “snack” = ??

A freaking enjoyable night, but the worst food coma the next day after. I was groggy all day today, and only climbed out of bed when it was 1 pm. Oh well. It was all worth it…t’was the best Thanksgiving dinner I’ve ever had!

Actually, that was my first Thanksgiving, and I’m now a bit miffed that I had been denied a true Thanksgiving dinner for 21 years of my life. You see, I’m Asian (sorry to bring in the race card), and we just don’t celebrate Thanksgiving the way Americans do. For the past Thanksgivings in my life, I’ve been forced to choke down fried rice and chow mein and sweet-and-sour pork. Oh boy.

However, even with the horrible Thanksgiving food, one thing I’ve never ever been denied was wonderful, beautiful company. I’m so blessed…wherever I go, I seem to be constantly surrounded by people whom I really love, people who care about me, and people who I know for certain that God placed in my life. Oh, praise the Lord!

So. This post is dedicated to all the great people who stuck by me throughout all these years, and especially to all the new friends I’ve made in the past 11 months.

To my family: Thank you…for always loving me, no matter how flawed and terrible I’ve been. I would not be who I am without you.

To my church brothers and sisters in Virginia: Thank you…for always praying for me, always having faith in me, and rejoicing with me in my triumphs and joys.

To my church brothers and sisters in Singapore: Thank you…for helping me find laughter again, for encouraging me to challenge myself and eventually watching my daily progress in recovery. The 5 months I’ve spent with you was a turning point in my life.

To my best friends: Thank you…for not forgetting about me, even though I’ve tried to push you away. Thank you for treating me like a normal person, for viewing me and reminding me of who I am, without the ED stigma. Thank you for not forsaking me.

To my new friends in USC: Thank you…for breathing  life into me again as I live a new, restored life as a normal college student. Thank you for all the joys, laughter, and delight you’ve brought to me. I look forward to many more stories we’ll share together.

To my blog friends: Thank you…for reading, even though at times I’ve been grumpy and bitchy. Thank you for being there for me, always ready with warm words of comfort, advice, and support. Thank you for keeping me on track, for touching me with the wonder that it is possible to form such beautiful relationships even through the faceless communication of the Internet. You guys have restored my faith in humanity…that people really are beautiful.

To God: Dear Lord…You already know deep into the depths of my heart. Tears and words cannot express how much I love and thank you. You are the reason that I live, and I cannot repay you for all the grace you’ve bestowed upon me…except to give my all to you. Dear God, please accept my very being, and shape it into yours.

And lastly: Thanks to Elda, David, Renee, Ben, and Jane for cooking  my first Thanksgiving dinner ever (though they are included in the “new friends in USC” category)!!!

In lieu of the special occasion, I donned my favorite socks:
And boy, oh boy…there was so. much. freaking. food. My head was swimming and I didn’t know which one to dig into first! But first, let me share the decorations they did for the dining room:
Very, very cool. Simple, yet classy and elegant.
  I especially loved how they had little name cards. Makes me feel special to see mine:
Woo-hoo! Sophia!! What a beautiful name!

And now on to food. A pretty table ain’t nothing without good food! Everyone zoomed in…
With their cameras?!! Um, I swear, they are not food bloggers…But what’s great about these people is that they’re total foodies like me!

Anyway, here’s the arrogant dish that thinks it’s centerpiece when it’s actually only good for leftovers:
The 17-lb turkey, plucked, roasted, and exposed for our gastronomical pleasure.

Then ham:
 Home-roasted. Sweet, yet intensely meaty.

Stuffing:
 Apples, French bread, walnuts, cranberries. It was freaking amazing. I went back for seconds and thirds. Hands down, my favorite dish of the night!
 4-Cheese Mac & Cheese:
With Parmesan cheese, white cheddar, gorgonzola, and goat cheese. Say what? All my favorite cheeses in one dish?  I went for seconds and thirds again. Definitely a close favorite!
Candied yams:
Honestly, I did not think I would like this at all because it would be too sweet for me, so I only took a tiny bit. But it turned out pretty good. Good enough for seconds!
 Mashed potatoes:
Damn it, my mashed potatoes never turned out this good!
The most freaking amazing cranberry sauce:
Homemade, with fresh cranberries, orange rind, apple cider, liquer, and…Whatever. I can’t remember, but it sure saved the boring turkey!

Also, fresh-baked cheese and herb biscuits:
Light, buttery, flaky, cheesy. What’s not to love?
 After that superfluous dinner, everyone wobbled to the living room to sing some praise songs together, because who best to thank on Thanksgiving than God, right?
La la la la~
 Tra la la la~
These guys are wondering, “When the heck is dessert time?” I can just read it in their heads!
I know I was!

And then it was dessert time!

Somehow, an Asian dish slipped into the mix:
 Korean rice cakes. But that’s okay, at least it wasn’t fortune cookies.

The quintessential pumpkin pie:
 Pumpkin bread!!
And banana pudding:
Embarrassed to say, but I was most enamored by the banana pudding, which turned out to be the least homemade dessert (pudding mix and Cool Whip). A true Gourmand I am not!

For this pecan pie, we stuck a candle into it:
  And we sang another song, this time a birthday song, because it was this little fella’s first birthday:
  How cool is it that his birthday is on Thanksgiving? The look on his face seems to indicate that he doesn’t know what the hell is going on though. Tee hee!

Eggnog was passed around…
…and we were divided into “Love-it” and “Hate-it” camps. I’m in the “hate-it” camp. Yeck. Too sickening rich…it’s like drinking custard that someone puked out.

It’s amazing how much you can stuff into your stomach if you put your heart into it. Here’s Renee, not afraid to chow down some more:

She is so pretty. And huggable. I love her!

After dessert we settled down, nursing our food babies…
And real babies…
And we talked some more. I loved this group of people. I didn’t know half the people here, but we were an interesting, ecelectic mix from all over the world: Nepal, Kazakhstan, India, Singapore (me), Taiwan, Korea, Romania…
Can you tell who is from where? No matter…we are all beautiful!

The baby started sleeping…
…and thus it was time to leave.

I had the most wonderful, heart-warming night. Thanksgiving rocks. It’s now officially my favorite holiday ever. Hopefully my next Thanksgiving will be “kung-pao chicken”-less as well!

Question of the day: What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish? Do you have a non-traditional Thanksgiving tradition?

Oh, and Egg-nog: Love it or hate it?

Open for Discussion: Is Total Recovery Possible?

In response to my post about my ED past, Alison from Live, Listen, Cook asked this question:

“Here’s a question for you…do you think you’ll ever completely eradicate ED? I think it will always be there for me— or at least my relationship with food is forever changed, even if I eat healthfully. This changed relationship with food is not all bad, but I do hate that the monster in my head never goes away completely. What do you think?”

It’s been 2 weeks since she had asked, and I’ve been meaning to answer this comment earlier, but did not get a chance until now. I’m so sorry, Alison! But I wanted to post this question up for discussion, as I think many of us ED-recovers wonder the same thing.

Is true, total recovery possible? How do you know whether you’re completely recovered?

I cannot say for others (that is why I need your input), but I will speak from my own thoughts and experience: I most absolutely believe that complete recovery is possible. But the word “recovery” is ambiguous. What does it mean? How can you tell?

To be honest, I don’t think I’ll have the same exact relationship with food as I had before. I now know too much about nutrition, and that information will never be eliminated from my brain. Bring out a handful of grains, or a spoonful of oil, and I can automatically tell you exactly how many calories are in it.

Also, my taste buds have changed. I used to avoid vegetables and vegetables like the plague, but now I love and crave them. I don’t like meat as much as I did, nor do I want to eat 2 Super-sized McDonald’s french fries every single afternoon like I used to.

But recovery doesn’t mean that I need to revert back to the way I was before. It just means that food no longer controls me. I don’t obsess about food as much, I no longer fear any certain food, I don’t avoid social eating, I don’t obsessively count calories, I don’t freak out over a missed work out, I don’t have a rigid eating schedule, and I don’t always have to eat “healthy”.

Alison also mentioned the “monster in the head”…that terrible voice that likes to call you names. Fat. Weak. Lazy. Loser. It likes to mock you, and tempt you:

“Why did you eat so much, you fat greedy pig?”
“Hey, you missed your run this morning. Why not restrict today?”
“Bah, so much stress! You’re losing control! But at least you can control your food intake!” 
“Whoa, check out your Thunder thighs! Your underpants will burst into flames from the friction between them!”

Well, here’s the bad news: this voice might always be there. Why? Because it’s habitual. I’m in such a habit of living in such negative thoughts, that sometimes I just instinctively think them. I might eat more than usual, and immediately think, “Sophia, you fatso.” Or I might feel bloated, and panic, “Am I gaining all the fat on my stomach?”

But here’s the good news: Recovery means that you might hear these voices, but you don’t act on them. And as time goes on, the voice will fade away until it’s just a distant memory. Just as it took time to get into the habit of thinking such thoughts, it will take a bit of time to get out of them. But as long as you continuously and consistently ignore them, they will go away.

Therefore, I have hope. In fact, there are a lot of times when I would think back to all the crazy-ass, disordered stuff I used to do: only eating protein and vegetables, throwing away egg yolks, browsing grocery stores all day, buying fat-free cheese and low-carb bread, writing out all my calorie-intake of the day, even hiding food in my socks (WTF?)…and I would just be absolutely flabbergasted and disgusted at myself, exclaiming, “I did WHAT? What the hell? I can’t believe I used to do that!”

But I feel the need to emphasize on one thing: In order to gain full recovery, you have to let go of everything that is disordered. You can’t pick-and-choose; it’s all or nothing. You all are smart enough to know what is disordered or not without me laying out the details. Your conscience will speak to you.

I hope that answers your question, Alison. Thank you for such a thought-provoking comment. And I’d like to open this topic up for discussion, so anyone who has any thoughts on this, please speak up!

So, I’ve mentioned above that my taste buds have changed since my eating disorder, but two things that haven’t: My distaste for rice, and my passion for kabocha. My love for kabocha is self-explanatory, but let me explain why I hate rice: I just don’t get how anyone can like that plain, fluffy, texture-less grain! That doesn’t mean I dislike all grains though. As long as they have an interesting texture to them, I love. 

In fact, smart, lovely Christina sent me a bag of Trader Joe’s Greenwheat freekeh for my birthday. I’m totally in love with this grain now! I’ve made a couple of dishes with them already, but here’s the first one I made with Mimi:

Cheesy-Kabocha Chicken with Raisins and Walnuts Over Grains
(I know, it’s a freaking mouthful. I’m so bad with names! Help me!)

For the Cheesy-Kabocha Sauce:

• oil
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 onion, diced finely
• 1/2 cup kabocha puree (or, reluctantly, pumpkin)
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup sharp cheddar cheese
• 1/4 cup cottage cheese
• salt and pepper
• pinch of turmeric

For the Chicken:

• oil
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1/4 red bell pepper, diced
• 1 boneless, skinless chicken breast
• 1/3 cup raisins

For the Grains:

• 1/2 cup bulgur, dry
• water
• salt and pepper
• pinch of cumin and cinnamon
• 1 cup Trader Joe’s Greenwheat Freekeh

For the toppings:

• handful salad greens
• 3 basil leaves, shredded
• 1/3 cup walnuts, chopped
• 1/2 cup feta cheese, crumbled (or blue cheese)

For the sauce, first cook the garlic and onion in the oil until soft and fragrant. Then stir in the kabocha and pour in the milk. As the liquid starts to thicken, add in both cheeses and season to taste. Stir, then turn down the heat and leave aside.

Next for the chicken, stir-fry garlic, onions, and bell pepper until cooked, then add in the chicken and cook until done. Pour in the cheesy-kabocha sauce and mix together. Add in the raisins.

Meanwhile, cook the bulghur in water, and season with the seasonings and spices. Once the bulghur is cooked, stir in the Freekeh.

To dish, set a handful of salad greens, then scrape the grains on top. Ladle on the cheesy-kabocha chicken mixture, and top with the basil leaves, walnuts, and feta cheese. Crack extra black pepper on top if you like. This serves two hungry girls!

Aii yai yai! This was a beautiful dish. I think Mimi and I just stepped aside to gaze at it in wonder for awhile.
 

And then we dug in!
I can’t tell you how amazing this dish was. It was absolutely…well, amazing! Ah, words fails me!
And that freekeh stuff is absolutely delightful:
So incredibly chewy with its separate, chewy grains, and together with the gritty, crunchy bulghur, the texture was a sensation in my mouth! Thank you, Christina!
And come on. Cheesy, creamy, kabocha chicken? Enough said. Absolutely freakalicious!
It’s funny how now I sneak in greens in there more for a contrast of color rather than nutrition. Ah, to be a food blogger!
Somehow, this dish ended up scoring 100 points in nutrition (if I say so myself):

• Omega-3 fats from the walnuts
• the vitamin B and fiber from the grains
• the protein and iron from the chicken
• the various vitamins and minerals from the vegetables and kabocha
• garlic and onions for immunity
• calcium from the 3 different cheeses
• some antioxidants from the raisins…

Man. I didn’t even notice what a nutritional powerhouse this dish was until now! See, here’s another thing about recovery I learned: I no longer obsess about nutrition, but instead focus on taste and texture when it comes to creating my dishes. And somehow, it still ends up being super nutritious!

Okay, gotta have dinner now. This girl is HANGRY! Oh, here’s another thing I earned from recovery: Being able to feel and honor my hunger! It’s so damn nice to feel hunger and cravings again!

Question of the day: I’ve answered Alison’s question, but I’m sure I missed something. I’m opening it up for discussion, so any input is appreciated!

But for those of you who aren’t ED-recoverers, I have an equally important question to ask: Rice. Like or hate?

Thank God There Is No Forever 21

I love the American system of determining one’s age. You are allowed to stick to your previous age until you hit your birthday, and you don’t turn one until you live outside of your mother’s womb for a whole year.

Now, compare it to Korean age reckoning. Your age starts at conception, not birth, and you gain a year each time you pass a new year. So, by Korean age reckoning, I am…23 years old, and just 2 months away from becoming 24 years old (!!).

But thankfully, I live in America, and I can still gleefully declare that I am 21 without being a liar. But of course, there is no such thing as Forever 21. Because in just 2 days, I turn 22. Dun dun dun…

I remember that when I was a kid, turning older was a big, flashy event. The day I turned 11, I proudly told my parents I am no longer a kid, but a “mature” teenager (Like that’s a good thing? Helloooo puberty!). It took me about 3 more years to actually start becoming a bit more mature, but the fact that I could no longer count my age with my ten fingers thrilled me.

But then, birthdays started becoming a drag. Why? It was nothing but a single day in a year. But the fact that it was supposed to be special, supposed to be celebratory, made it all the more depressing when the day did not measure up to expectations. On my 14th birthday, I spent the night crying in bed because I had just moved to America and had little friends, and my mom bought me the ugliest winter jacket from Costco for my birthday present (I’d wanted a cute peacoat).

On my 17th birthday, I cried all night again, but for a more serious reason—I was distraught in despair, as I felt myself sink lower and lower into my anorexia.

On my 18th birthday, I once again cried all day—It was only a few weeks since I had been sent home from Northwestern because of my eating disorder.

On my 19th birthday, I cried again because I was missing my parents. I had moved out a couple months earlier after a huge fight with them, and I had relapsed, hard.

On my 20th and 21st birthday, I did not cry. I was just far too emotionally detached to have any sort of real, painful feelings. I woke up, I went out for an obscenely long walk, I came back home, I obsessed over my food rituals, I went to bed with nothing to look forward to. No hope, no excitement, no nothing.

And here comes my 22nd birthday on Wednesday. Honestly, I’m still not sure how exactly I feel about my birthday. But I do know I am feeling something. It’s a mix of “Holy shit I am freaking old!” and “Wow, look at how much I changed in a year” and “Thank you Lord, for letting me still be alive”.

I can’t describe it. But overall, I can say I’m feeling positive. Hopeful. A bit annoyed at how fast life passes by, but ultimately, pleased and thankful to God who has sustained me through piles of crap and drama, and to all the lovely people out there who have patiently endured me.

By the way, one thing I will not be having on my 22nd birthday is that stinky seaweed soup Koreans traditionally eat during birthdays. Thank goodness I’m away from my mother on my birthday, or she might have tried to make me  have some. However, there is another birthday tradition, common among the Chinese, which is eating noodles. The long strands is supposed to symbolize longevity.

I don’t care for longevity, but I’ll take the noodles!

Hot & Cold Pasta Salad

For the pasta dressing:

• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup freshly-squeezed orange juice
• 1/2 cup POM juice
• 1 tablespoon dijon mustard
• 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
• milk (according to taste)
• salt and pepper

For the “hot” ingredients:

• olive oil
• 1/2 large red onion, sliced thinly
• 2 links Trader Joe’s Apple-Chardonnay sausages, sliced
• grated orange zest

For the “cold” ingredients:

• 1/2 green apple, thinly sliced
• handful dried berries
• handful dry-roasted pistachios
• basil leaves, chopped finely
• 2 cups chopped romaine lettuce
• handful feta cheese

For the pasta:

• about 5-6 oz whole-grain linguine (did not measure)

water and salt

Mix all the dressing ingredients together, set aside.

Bring a pot of water to boil with salt, and cook the linguine according to packet directions.

Meanwhile, cook the onions with the oil on a skillet until slightly softened, then add in the sausages. Pour in the dressing, and cook until the onions are soft and caramelized, and the sausages are cooked through. Grate in the orange zest.

Once the pasta is done, drain it, then toss into the hot ingredients. Turn off heat.

In a large salad bowl, toss all the cold ingredients except the feta cheese with the skillet ingredients. Mix well, then dish out onto a plate, and top with feta cheese. Grate more black pepper and orange zest if you like.
Look at that! Why only eat this on your birthdays? I wouldn’t mind eating this everyday!
I loved all the different components of this dish. Sort of like a hot pasta, but tossed into a salad. There are the hot, caramelized onions, and the hot, charred sausages…
Balancing out the cold,  refreshing lettuce, the tart green apples, the crunchy pistachios, the chewy dried berries…
A toast to our longevity!
And another toast to a great friend who waited patiently for me to be done taking pictures!
Obviously, this dish was a bit pre-mature. It’s not my birthday yet, but I think I know what I’ve having on Wednesday!

Question of the day: What is your birthday tradition? Doesn’t really have to be food, though that would always be welcome!

Life Ain’t Sweet

Most of you already know this: I hate desserts. Really, I do. Not to say I don’t like baking them, or staring at them through the clear glasses in a bakery. Gleaming fruit tarts; tall, intricately-designed wedding cakes; adorable, pretty-in-pink cupcakes; dense and dark brownies. They’re lovely to look at, but not so much to eat.

First of all, well, they’re boring. They usually just have one dominant flavor: sweet. And second of all, they get cloying and sickening really fast.

Wouldn’t you say that’s the same for life? I used to dream of that perfect life: I’d be popular and smart in high school, graduate with honors and fabulous job offer from college (and find me a gorgeous boyfriend), get a fabulous career, be the life of parties, get rich, retire, spend the rest of my days in the Bahamas with a permanent suntan. But by now I’ve long since realized that life is just not about green meadows with lollipop flowers and cotton candy clouds.

Not only is a perfect life not possible, it is not…feasible. Seriously. Let’s pretend you got all you wanted in life. Then what? There’s nothing more to achieve, nothing more to fight for, nothing more to run towards. Life will then become a meaningless empty hole, where you just fall and fall and fall while getting fat sipping on martinis.

No. Give me the challenges in life. Give me trials to face, problems to solve, battles to fight. That way I won’t stay stagnant, but continue to grow and experience and learn. Life is not Candyland. I don’t want sweetness after sweetness, to the point that it just gets sickening and saccharine. Life is a battlefield. It’s tough and gritty and sometimes rather horrible, but exciting and thrilling and sensational at the same time.

I would like to say I’ve been through a lot, but I’m only 21 and there’s more shit ahead of me. Well, I’ve got my boots ready and my belt strapped tight, so bring it on.

So desserts? No thanks. I’d like a bit more interesting and savory substance in my dishes. Thus I introduce to you my own take on carrot cake (and life).

“Carrot Cake” Sandwich

• carrots, shaved (I didn’t have a vegetable peeler, so I had to shave it by hand with a fruit knife)
• 2 tablespoons chopped walnuts
  
• 3 tablespoons cream cheese
  
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 2 thick slices of cinnamon raisin bread

1. Get a nice thick slab of cinnamon raisin bread. This is the base, your foundation: your family, your values, your beliefs, your friends.
2. Meanwhile, mix together the cream cheese, cinnamon, and honey. This is the tangy and sweet cream spread.  It’s your daily life, your daily routine, your daily encounters. Sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it’s tangy, sometimes it’s got a hint of spice, but altogether it sails through nice and smooth. 
3. And then pinch in the walnut pieces. These are the bumpy roads in life: crunchy, nutty, gritty, but altogether bearable.
4. And then layer on the shaved carrots. Sprinkle with a bit of coarse kosher salt. These are the layers and layers of new experiences, new lessons, new relationships, new struggles you face each day. Take them with a grain of salt. With the right perspective, these add dimensions of wisdom and insight into your life. And the salt notches up flavor.
5. And because life can get a bit hot (and because bread tastes so much better toased), toast them up on a skillet. They develop a nice crust on the bottom, a “know-how” into life as you weather with age.
Now, for the finale: Bite in and savor! Or not. Ah, the woes of food blogging. My mouth was watering at that tantalizing aroma of the caramelized raisins and the warm cinnamon, but I had refrain myself to take a few quick shots…
Okay, I know this is a far cry from real carrot cake. But it’s got all the components! The carrots, the raisins, the nuts, the cream cheese “frosting” and the spices!
Freaking yum. Crunch, chew, creamy, all in one savory-sweet bite. This totally beats carrot cake, in my opinion.
Won’t you try my carrot cake, the deconstructed and savory version?

By the way, the bread I used was from Great Harvest, the freaking best bakery in the world :
Notice that a little mouse nibbled on it last night (me).

Oh and did you know sometimes you get a little bonus is life too? Guess what popped up at my doorstep:
The amazing giveaway I won from Lauren at Say What You Need to Say!!

Let’s see what I’ve got here: Puffins, Annie’s Mac & Cheese, Chocolate PB2, an August edition of Self, Kind bars, Fruit Leathers, Barney’s Butter packets, Trader Joe’s Bananas, Flattened, a Trader Joe’s bag, and a freaking sweet card!

I dug into the flattened bananas right away:
Instant LOVE! I hate bananas in raw form, but I love them in these interesting ways, whether dried, or cooked. They were chewy, slightly sweet, and intense!

Thank you so much for the generous package, Lauren! (I went to Trader Joe’s right away today to use that bag but ended up forgetting it, but I will use it the next time I visit!)

Question of the day: Are you a sweet or savory or combo?

Conquering Good Eats in NoCal, Part II

I’m so excited to share the eats from my last day in California, because it was the first time I had Middle-Eastern food. I know, I know, I’m a dinosaur. I’ll bet most of you have already had your share of pitas and hummus and tabboulehs!

My cousin Clara, my aunt and I went down to Berkeley again for lunch, and we came across this quaint little spot:
You know the rule when choosing a random restaurant: the more the people, the better! This particular spot was buzzing with people and even boasted a Zagat award, but so was this Italian restaurant right next to it. We debated for awhile, then played a round of scissors, paper, stone and finally decided on Mediteranee.
It was a nice, airy place, built to resemble the inside of a large Middle-Eastern tent.
Nice, isn’t it?
This time round, Clara and my aunt learned their lesson and left me to choose the dishes for them. The menu was pretty simple and basic, and it didn’t take me long to decide on what to order. Meanwhile, the waitress served us some warm pitas:
For my aunt, I ordered the Middle Eastern Plate:
 Combination of Chicken Cilicia, Grecian Spinach and Feta, Levant Sandwich, and Chicken Pomegranate. With hummus and cheese & fruit. Side of house salad.

And for my dear cousin Clara, I ordered the Chicken Kebab because she insisted on chicken and thought lambs are too “cute” to eat:
 One skewer of marinated chicken, over rice pilaf with hummus. Also with cheese and fruit. Side of creamy mushroom soup.

As for myself, I ordered the Vegetarian Middle Eastern Plate:
 Combination of Grecian Spinach and Feta, Cheese Karni, Levant Sandwich, and Dolma. With hummus and cheese & fruit, and side of house salad.

Don’t the pictures speak for themselves? They were super delicious!

I especially loved my aunt’s Chicken Cilicia (far left), which is a pastry made from phyllo dough with chicken chunks, almonds, chickpeas, raisins, cinnamon and spices. So damn good!
And the pomegranate chicken was another hit with the sticky, flavorful, slightly sweet yet tangy coating.
Clara’s kebabs were also pretty good, though a tad bit dry.
I loved the Grecian Spinach and Feta, which is another pastry made from phyllo dough filled with a mixture of spinach, chickpea, onions, feta, and almonds:

Yum!
And I ordered the Vegetarian plate specifically for this little pastry, the Cheese Karni, which didn’t disappoint at all!
It’s another phyllo dough pastry filled with cheese, herbs, and onions.
I didn’t like the dolma so much, though, which is a mixture of rice and spices wrapped and marinated in grape leaf. It was sour…I guess I’m just not a big fan of things marinated in olive oil!
The Levant Sandwich was also really good. Basically cream cheese, cucumbers, herbs, lettuce, feta cheese and tomato wrapped in Levantine bread. Easy to recreate at home I’ll bet!
I liked how they added the extra dessert course of fresh fruits and cheese to cleanse the palate!
What a gastronomical adventure! Italian, Mexican, and Lebanese…The world is way too tasty and big!

After our lunch we trudged around the Berkeley area again, then stopped by this place to pick up a refreshing drink:
We got the Thai milk bubble tea:
 Blegh. I’m not a big fan of bubble teas, but we also stopped by Yogurt Land again for some obligatory froyo, of course! Hey, it’s the last day, so we might as well carry on the tradition!
From left to right: My aunt’s, mine, and Clara’s.

Mine’s the biggest! I had pistachio, double chocolate, and taro froyo with adzuki beans, mochi, and blueberries:
 I was so amused that my aunt forced herself to get one and beautify it just so it was blog-worthy! Ain’t she so sweet and cool?
After that we hopped over to a coffee shop to sit down and chat. This was my favorite part of the afternoon. The food was great, and the shopping was fun, but I loved spending some quality time with Clara and my aunt the most. We never got that chance to sit down and talk before, because we live so far away and even when we did meet, it was as a huge family reunion.

I got to share a bit about my story, my testimony on how I struggled with my eating disorder, and the lessons and experiences I gained from it. My aunt actually had tears in her eyes, and Clara listened really attentively as well.

It amazes me why anyone would ever want to listen to me talk about myself for more than an hour, but that is another reason why I am grateful for my eating disorder. My words now have genuine appeal, because it has a real story and sincerity behind it, having personally been through real suffering and pain. I am no longer the immature, empty-headed, self-absorbed person I used to be (okay, maybe just a little), and there is an indescribable pull in listening to the story of one who has clearly changed.

At the end of my testimony I said that I think I am 80% recovered, and my aunt immediately replied, “No, I think you are 100% healed!” That isn’t really true as she doesn’t know the inner struggles I had the entire time I dined with them, but her words filled me with such hope and joy, and strengthened my courage and determination to fight on!

Altogether, I am thrilled to declare my trip to California a huge freaking success! Remember all the crazy problems I ran into here? Bet you don’t, because I can’t even remember that anymore! All I can recall is the joy, the sense of freedom, and the cozy-toasty love I have for Clara, my aunt and Victoria!

By the way, guess what? MORE trips are waiting for me in the future!

Tomorrow, I’ll be heading down with my church friends to Blacksburg, Virginia to visit my brother’s school, Virginia Tech. My friend Joyce has an apartment there so we’ll be residing there for the weekend, and coming back Sunday afternoon.

Then, on Monday, I’m going to NEW YORK CITY, BABY! Remember my dear friend Jane? I’ll be staying over at her apartment, which is in Flushing, but suffice to say we’ll be visiting the Big Apple as often as we can! I’m gonna be enjoying city life for 6 days! Woo-hoo! It’s GREAT to be free from ED!

P.S. I know there are some NYC bloggers up there…if you’d like to have a blogger meet-up, let me know But my feelings won’t be hurt if you’re too busy!

We shoot. We eat. We rock!

One of the reasons I chose journalism as my major was because I love meeting new people. Being a passionate person with passionate values and interests, I get fueled and stirred by the passions of other people as well.

That is also precisely why I love blogger meet-ups. I get to meet people who share the same common interest as me (food!), but still have their own individual and different hobbies and dreams.

Today, I met up with two more amazing food bloggers: Rebecca from All Vegged Out and Karena from Run, Eat, Repeat. They live all the way in DC, and Rebecca first let me know about this really cool place called Busboys and Poets that is not just a restaurant but also a bookstore, fair trade market and gathering place for poets. Of course, I grasped at this chance to meet up with the fabulous Rebecca and Karena!

We decided to meet up for a late lunch. I told Rebecca to look out for a “skinny Asian girl who looks lost” but I should have told her to look out for a “skinny Asian girl with eye bags and a green pallor who looks lost”.

I must have been super-tired from my trip to NoCal, because I slept all the way to 12:30 pm!! I awoke in a hurry, grabbed something light to gobble down, then rushed out to the metro. I also stupidly read a book in the metro, and by the end of the hour-long metro ride, I was nauseated and close to hurling into the streets.

So yeah, I definitely was not looking my best when I first met my two dear fellow bloggers! But the sight of their bright faces cheered me up a lot and my nausea abated.  

Okay, can I first give a loud applause to Rebecca for choosing the most fabulous place ever? I just had to take a picture of the indoors, but this just doesn’t do it justice:
The decorations were hip, yet quaint; upscale, yet casual. I don’t know how to describe it, but if you’re ever in DC, you just have to hit by this place!

We took awhile to decide on what we want, because every single thing in the menu sounded so. freaking. good. I wanted to order everything in there! But we finally made our respective choices by the time the waiter came by for the third time.

Rebecca ordered the Grilled Brie Panini:
Brie with spinach, caramelized onion, tomatoes on ciabatta. Side of sweet potato fries.
 Karena ordered the Avocado Panini:
 Avocado with havarti,sprouts,roasted pepper spread on ciabatta. Side of sweet potato fries.
I ordered the Sweet Fuji Apple and Gorgonzola sandwich:
 Sweet Fuji Apple and Gorgonzola with fig spread on walnut raisin bread. Side of seasonal fruits.
I’d ordered the fruit as a side because I was still feeling pretty sick and the thought of greasy fries made me want to puke, but when I tried a bite of Rebecca’s fries, I totally regretted not ordering them myself! They were freaking awesome, with the natural sweetness of the sweet potato, sort of chewy, and not greasy at all. Oh well. This’ll be a good excuse to visit again!
Anyway, my sandwich was…oh my God. I would have broken up into a love ballad if I hadn’t wanted to embarrass Rebecca and Karena, but it was just…just perfect. Words fail on me.
Crusty grilled bread chock-full of crunchy walnuts and plump juicy raisins, smeared with the perfect amount of gorgonzola cheese, paired with that sweetness of the fig spread and the thin-sliced crispy apples…

The best part was when the food arrived, all three of us swiped out our cameras. Yo, what can I say? We’re food bloggers. We take pictures of our food. We’re cool. We’re super amazing. I say people who don’t take pictures of their food are the weirdos! Ha ha!

I won’t bore you with every single detail of our conversation, but I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. The great thing is we don’t just talk about food. I loved getting to know them better, and it’s so nice to get more personal with someone you only know through the World Wide Web.

Rebecca is this really sweet girl who actually has a character of iron-steel inside. her. She left her family to live all by herself in DC, just to be able to teach in the nation’s worst education system! And Karena is a really fun, vibrant personality, and I really admired how she is living life to its fullest. She has already run two marathons, and will be running her third one in New York soon. Even if you can’t go personally to cheer her on the sidelines on that big day, please jump over to show her some support!  

Thanks, Rebecca and Karena, for a great afternoon!

By the way, I was so happy to come back home to three packages!

First is a bunch of candies from Nat of Eating to Live, who sent this over all the way from Britain!
And the giveaway I won from Meghan:
And the other giveaway I won from Heather of Girlichef!
I can’t wait to bake!
Dang, how lucky can a girl be? *GRIN*

Well, I’ve got to go take another nap (what is wrong with my body? I never sleep this much!) but tomorrow, I’ll update on Part II of my trip in San Francisco!

Question of the day: Have you had a blogger meet-up yet? What do you like most about it?

When I remember…

I was rummaging through an old box stored in our storage room when I came across my old baby photographs. I sat down and flipped through each one of them, and before I knew it, an hour had flipped by.

What kind of feelings do you get when you look at your old pictures?

As I thumbed through each picture, my face unconsciously morphed into all sorts of mixed expressions: a smile, a giggle, a frown, and even an occasional cringe (why do parents like to take pictures of naked babies?!). But mostly, thoughtful and nostalgic.

Looking at these pictures, I feel like it was so distant, as if it was from the ancient times, yet so…familiar, as if I was back to a little pacifier-sucking baby clinging on to my mother’s skirts. What a strange feeling. I can almost remember the little doll I used to drag around, the rocking horse I rode imagining that I was on an adventure, the pictures books I pored through that were bigger in size than me.

But as I stare into the face of my past, I can’t tell what I was thinking then. A picture of me crying:

Why was I unhappy then?

Another of me scowling:
 
What was I thinking then?

Another of me staring at my new baby brother:

Is that a piercing glare of sibling-jealousy?

Time pass. Things change. My body change, my mind change, my emotions change. We are always changing. What we care about now may not bother us as much in the future. The problems we have not may seem to trivial in the future. The worry or pain or shame we feel now may end up being a good story, a funny story, or even a great testimony.

In the light of eternity, in the face of my entire lifetime, a lot of things I obsess about is so meaningless. At most, I’ll probably live till 70 years old, 80 if I’m extra-healthy, 90 if I’m super-healthy. And when I look back at my life, I don’t want to regret wasting all those precious time and energy of temporary and ephemeral matters.

What I want to remember is the whatever little celebrations or events of joy I had…

(My first birthday)

I want to remember the time I shared with my loved ones…

Facing everything with a little humor…

(My evil dad drew on my face! Meow!)

Living life outrageously and bravely…

Loving and taking care of others…

And loving and treasuring myself…

What do you want to remember most from your life?

For some reason, all these nostalgia left me craving comfort food. And to me, comfort food is brunchy, breakfasty foods…And I had the perfect item in mind!

Purple Eggs and Ham on Waffles!!

Remember the blueberry-walnut pesto I made yesterday? I thought it would be so perfect on top of eggs with waffles, and I was right! So here’s what I did…

Toast a waffle (ready-frozen) and slather on some cream cheese…

Top with some greens and two pieces of fried deli ham…

And then top it with a poached egg and drizzle the pesto all over! (I thinned out the pesto with a bit of milk first)!

Fast, simple, and SO impressive-looking! It looks quite spectacular, don’t you think? Well, I think so. x]

It was so freaking good. I forgot how much I missed brunchy food! And runny yolk…Ooh la la~

Don’t worry, none of the golden nectar of the egg went to waste. I mopped up every last bit with the waffle!

I know waffles aren’t the norm for these kind of dishes, but I thought it made a really perfect base for the eggs, because it just soaked up all the liquid, and the blueberry pesto was brilliant with it!

If you haven’t tried this pesto yet, please do! I still have a lot left, so you’ll be seeing more of this amazing pesto…

I was so sad when they were gone. I could easily have eaten two more! (and burst, but it would be a happy death)

Burp~ Excuse me! ^___^

Question of the day: I already asked! What do you want to remember most from your life? And also, I tag everyone reading who wants to participate: Please share your baby pictures! I’d love to see the adorable little you!

Operation Gnocchi: Overload

Is anybody like me? Overzealous? Overambitious? Trying to do too many things at once? Trying to be perfect in everything? If so, I hope you can commiserate with me here.

I remember once when I took up the responsibility of leading a Christmas play for my church youth group. And surprise, surprise, my type “A” personality reared its ugly head. I got greedy, and tried to do too many things at once. Was I just satisfied with a small, simple play about the birth of Christ Jesus? No, I had to go all out to make it the most spectacular Broadway-style/ sing-along/ comedy/ parody/ drama/ tragedy/ hip-hop show.

I wrote the script. I translated the script (for the Chinese folks). I directed the script. I came up with the lyrics and the tunes and all the hip-hop dance moves. I made the costumes, the settings, the make-up. I rallied up the small youth group, assigned the roles, organized the rehearsals. I dreamed, seamed, schemed,  and screamed. I thought I was Super-girl.

But unfortunately, even Super-girl isn’t super in all things. I was totally burned out and stressed up. It was hard doing everything by myself, and my drive for perfection drove me and everybody crazy. In the end, the leading actor (Joseph) refused to do the play. I told him I didn’t need him, and I ended up being Joseph (not funny!).

Anyway, long sob story short: My overzealousness and over-ambition ultimately weighed down the Christmas play, and it wasn’t as good as it could have been if I only was willing to stick to a few simple categories and focused on that. I mean, seriously, just imagine a hip-hop dancing, rapping, female Joseph who tries to be both comedic and tragic at the same time. I’m cringing. What was I thinking?

You would have thought I’d learn my lesson. Oh, no. I remade that same mistake over again in the kitchen today.

Remember the potato gnocchi I had on Monday? I decided to try making that at home. Why spend money using store-bought gnocchi when it seemed easy enough to recreate at home?

Anyway, I had grand plans. I looked up online, and was dazzled by all the different kinds of gnocchi I could make. And I decided I wanted them all. Potato? Yes. Cottage cheese? Yes. Egg? Yes. Parmesan cheese? Yes. Mozzarella cheese? Yes. Asiago cheese? Yes, yes, yes!

I even wanted to add spinach or pumpkin or beet, but decided that was a bit too overboard. I thought I was being so good resisting, but har-har.

So, I boiled the potatoes:

I mashed it up by fork.

I mixed it up with egg, cottage cheese, the three cheeses, and white whole wheat flour.

I rolled them up into long tubes.

So far, so good.

I cut them up into plump little pillows.

I indented each pillow with a fork.

Everything seemed to go so smoothly, I was getting pretty proud of myself. Gnocchi? Hah! Call me an Italian grandmother!

I even created a brilliant new pesto recipe:

Blueberry-walnut Pesto

• 2 cups blueberries
• 1 cup walnuts
• 1 cup basil leaves
• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 4 cloves garlic
• dash of cinnamon and nutmeg
• salt

Directions: Grind it all up in my Vita-mix

Beautiful, eh? A bit thick, but that’s ok!

I started cooking the gnocchi in boiling water. It seemed to sort of disintegrate in the pot…but it still held it’s shape, so I shrugged it off. It was my first time making gnocchi, so I thought maybe that was how it was supposed to be.

The problem came when I ladled the drained and cooked gnocchi onto a plate and mixed it up with the pesto. As I mixed, the gnocchi kind of flattened and turned gooey, like melted rubber. My heart fell. I knew there was something wrong with my gnocchi by then. I knew I should have stuck to a tried-and-true recipe! I think there was simply too much action going on in the gnocchi dough.

I still tried to make it look pretty, by garnishing it with torn salad greens, fresh blueberries, and fresh goat cheese:

Looks okay, I guess, but looks are deceiving.

The gnocchi was mushy and soggy. Was it inedible? No. Did it taste fine? Sort of. Was it good? No way.

The pesto sauce and tangy goat cheese saved the dish from being a complete failure. The sauce was tangy, slightly sweet, flavorful. I see a lot of potential in this.

I still ate it, but didn’t really enjoy it. Boo hoo.

I had some uncooked gnocchi dough leftover, but I dumped them. No way did I want to eat them again.
I was going to send this to Doggybloggy from Chez What? for this week’s BSI, but I don’t want this to taint his perfect list of delicious potato recipes. Sorry, Doggybloggy!

On the bright side, I finally managed to make a blueberry recipe. I’d really wanted to submit a recipe for Reeni’s BSI: blueberries, but didn’t get the opportunity. So here’s a (verrrrry) belated recipe for you, Reeni! And I have a container of this blueberry-walnut pesto left for lots more good eats in the future! (Stay tuned)

Question of the day: Have you ever tried doing too many things at once? And any gnocchi-experts out there who can pinpoint to me exactly what I did wrong (though I think I already know)?

P.S. I might give gnocchi-making another try…sometime. In the very distant future.

P.P.S. Snackface is having a freaking sweet giveaway for fellow snackfaces like her!

P.P.P.S. Heather is also celebrating her 100th post with some ADORABLE giveaway!! (Please, I MUST win this!)