I Am My Poison

I feel…like I’ve had a big weight lifted off my chest. I feel so light and relieved inside, I’m almost convinced that if I were to jump, I would leap 800 feet into the air!

Remember the little bullahoo over the friend whom I thought betrayed me? Well, I met up with her for lunch today, and it’s all over. No, not our friendship, but the misunderstanding and anger I’ve held against her. We had a good, casual talk, and I got to hear her point of the story…and boy, do I feel so much better!

No, I still don’t entirely understand why she had to lie to me, nor do I understand why she had to do what she did. But you know what? It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just so relieved that we got a chance to bring everything to the table, face-to-face. We had an honest discussion, in which I expressed all my hurts and anger, and she responded by answering them honestly and sincerely.

And now…I’ve realized that I had overreacted. I had jumped into conclusions, and more misunderstandings arose because of that. I’ve also had a chance to think back more rationally about the past long friendship we had…all the ups and downs we’d endured together, and I’ve realized that there is no freaking way I want to lose our friendship just because of a petty grievance. In the light of our entire friendship, I would be a fool to let such a trivial matter break us up.

Honestly, my anger and confusion towards her have been crushing and stifling me these past few weeks. How ironical that I named the title of that angry post about her “Poisoned.” In truth, it was my own self-righteous anger and pride that was poisoning me. And even if I don’t completely understand…I’ve decided that I really need to let loose of this anger, because it is nothing but poison—not only for our old friendship, but to my own soul, my own peace of mind.

Thus I’ve let it go. And I feel…so freaking FREE!

I wonder if the contentment from good food helped. It sure didn’t hurt that we chose a restaurant that was favorable to both the wallet and the taste bud!

We (my friend, my brother and I) went to a local Thai restaurant called Born:
It is a small place next to an Americanized Chinese restaurant and a shady market, but the interior was pleasantly modern and clean.

I loved how each table was adorned with a single real rose:
The prices were amazingly cheap, too!
 $4.99 for a lunch entree! That’s even better than McDonald’s! We ordered a lot of dishes to share.

First up was Chicken satay:
 Skewers grill of spices marinated chicken served with cucumber relish & peanut-lemon-basil dipping
  These chicken was definitely fresh-grilled, you could taste that smoky grilled char on the surface. The spices were lovely; not too strong, but with definite oomph.
However, the peanut dressing was a little on the sweet side. I guess some people like that, but I’d rather have a spicier and more savory dressing.
 We also ordered a plate of Crispy Veggies Spring Roll:
 Fried spring rolls stuffed with taro, carrot, cabbage & bean thread served with sweet chili dipping
 Yum! I loved the toasted sesame seeds on top, and the spring rolls came freshly fried, so the exterior was delightfully crunchy!
I was surprised how fresh the vegetables inside tasted, considering that they’ve been deep-fried.

For our entrees, I ordered the drunken noodles with chicken:

Chicken sautéed with a spicy chili basil sauce, tomato onion & flat rice noodle
 I forgot to ask for “as spicy as possible”, but this turned out to be plenty spicy! AWESOME! I hate it when restaurants Americanize dishes and the “spicy” dish turns out to be mellow, with just an extra sprinkle of black pepper.

Not sure I understand what these curly carrot garnish is for, but they were pretty!
My friend ordered the same thing, but fried rice-style:
 Rice fried with spicy chili basil sauce, with shrimp
My brother, upon my request, ordered the Crispy Noodle Cake with Seafood:
 Bangkok’s night market style of light yellow bean-garlic gravy & broccoli over crispy egg noodle tossed with white pepper
Oh em gii! I loved this. The noodles are crispy like uncooked ramen noodles, but turn springy and soft from that flavorful gravy…And it was quite a flavorful and rich gravy!
And again, what’s up with the carrot garnish?
The portions were quite small. At least, they were for three hungry Asians, so we ordered another plate of drunken fried-rice… And we were surprised with this!
A full dinner plate of drunken fried-rice!
With mussels too!
That was incredibly nice of the chef to prepare a whole dinner plate with the works for us! Maybe it was my camera? Either way, I’m definitely returning to this place! >.<

Unfortunately, we had to pay for tea:
But it was good tea, and the server refilled it about 5 times, so I think we got our money’s worth.

You know, I’ve come to realize that most of the time, I am my own inflictor. It was true with this certain relationship conflict, it was true for my dilemma on returning home, and it was certainly true for my own eating disorder that had ravaged me for 4 years.

There will always be problems in my life, and there will always be things that simply irritate or bother me…but it is up to me to ultimately face it with a positive mindset, and deal with it the healthy way. For me, that is to view things in the perspective of Christ, and to pray and ask God for detailed guidance, power and strength to overcome them. Otherwise, if I just keep it inside of me and let it fester, it will become a deadly poison, leeching off my inner peace and  happiness.

Sigh. There are so many things I need to change, and as the new year commences, I’ve been reflecting on these more than usual. I’ll share them soon, but let me organize them in my head first.

Question of the day: What kind of self-infliction do you usually bring upon yourself? How do you resolve that?

 

Weathered Down

I’m back home! And I’m pretty weathered down. Literally, and figuratively. I was stuck in the middle seat of an overnight and over-packed flight back home, and I did not get a wink of sleep. I reached the Dulles airport at 6:30 am in the morning, and as soon as I got home, I crashed and slept till 4:30 in the afternoon.

Needless to say, my sleeping schedule is all messed up. Usually, I can easily fix it with some exercise and change in my eating patterns, but guess what hit the east coast…

 Snow…
…and more snow…
In fact, it’s snowing even harder right now as I type.

Oh, pretty white snow…You cover the earth with your gleaming crystals, pure and beautiful…

NOT!!!

Damn you, damn you, damn you, you irritating speckled fluff! I’m going crrraaazy stuck here at home! And to think Los Angeles is a balmy 70 degrees right now! Needless to say, I’ve been really restless. I’ve been strutting around the house poking my nose into my parents’ business. I think even my parents are wishing I’m in L.A. right now. >.<

Okay, fine. Being cooped up at home with nothing to do and nothing to eat isn’t the worst thing in the world. At least I’m home. I’m not basking under the SoCal sun, but I’m basking under my parents’ love.
That’s my dad, preparing for Sunday’s sermon…

And my mom, nagging at me to wash my face:
Here’s a couple of wonderful people who never tires of listening to me talk about me. Hee hee. Look, they even cleaned up my room:
But they neglected to burn this pillow:
Still, my restlessness was going to stifle me. So my dad proposed an adventure: Let’s go driving in this horrid snowstorm! What a marvelous idea!

We decided to drive to the local Korean supermarket to stock up on some groceries. Now, I was definitely perking up!
That’s me, perking up. Sort of.

Well, I got to wear the new  hat my mom bought me from Korea. Fluffy and pink. Not really my style, but it’s cute!
And somehow, even though we inched in the pace of a roller-skating granny, we made  it to our destination!
 Super H Mart. Love this place. I missed it!

I got my mom to stand still for a picture:
And then we went in and bought about 10 lbs of sweet potatoes. And some other stuff. I forgot.

So. While I bemoan my plight here, I’m sure many east coasters are telling me to shush up. Lord knows how much worse it is north! Brrr…

Okay. Think happy, warm thoughts…Well, there’s good food. And good friends. And warm weather. Ah yes, I believe I still have yet to share my last lunch with Mimi before we parted ways. We were supposed to meet with Kathryn for sushi, but the poor girl got hailed with a terrible stomachache, so Mimi and I settled for the international food court at our University Village.

We decided on Thai. I got the BBQ pork noodles:
With the soup on the side:
Yum, MSG! It was chock-full of MSG. You could even see the MSG particles in it. I lapped it up. Delicious!

And Mimi got the Pad Sew Iw again:
Unfortunately this time her dish was a bit on the dry side. Bad for her, good for me, since I took the leftovers home.
Mine was just mediocre, too, but because it reminded me of a Singaporean dish so much, I could not help finishing it:
 And the hot sauce makes it so much better…
I did, however, love the bean sprouts hidden underneath:
Correct me if I’m wrong…but I’m pretty sure this is not Thai food. In fact, it seems like a Hong Kong dish: wanton noodles with char siew pork.
Ah well. Hong Kong, Thai. They all look the same! (I’m being sarcastic, in case you didn’t already know).

Mimi was a sweetheart and gave me an early  Christmas gift:
Two DVDs:
 Heathers and Casanova (LOVED Heath Ledger!)

And a Probar and chocolates:
They were gone by that evening as snack.

I, however, was a horrible friend and didn’t get her anything.
I know, I know…But I forgot that you’re supposed to give gifts on Christmas! My family never did this tradition. I’ve always had a pretty giftless Christmas…

Anyway. I’m right now working on my new domain. I’ve already signed up and have imported my blog, but being technically-challenged, I’m having massive troubles with the themes and CSS and blah blah blah. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing, but I’ll figure it out. But please stay in tune for my new blog!

Question of the day: What do you do when there’s a snowstorm? Go out and build a snowman? Sit around the house drinking hot cocoa? Hibernate?

P.S. Planning a DC blogger lunch meet-up, probably sometime between January 1-4. Please email me: burp.excuzme@gmail.com

Choose Your Battle

There was a battle at my school yesterday—The Battle of the Football: USC vs. UCLA. For those of you who don’t know much about sports and American universities, USC and UCLA are deadly rivals. No question about it— USC is better than UCLA in every aspect, naturally. Of course, I may be a teensy weensy bit biased, but I’m pretty sure that is a well-established fact.

Go Trojans!! FYI: Trojans = USC. Bruins = (f)UCLA. Red = USC. Blue = UCLA(ss).

Anyway, let me just tell you— we USC and UCLA students don’t get along. I mean, we sell shirts that say “My maid went to UCLA” for God’s sake. And we even built a shrine for a dog which apparently chewed the Bruin’s mascot’s head off!

Which was why I was absolutely flabbergasted to see this:
A family housing both the Trojans and the Bruins? What?!

Wait, there’s more:
Trojans and Bruins…tailgating together?!

And this:
Kids, kids, please! You guys are supposed to fight, not walk in peace together!

And worse, a Trojan + a Bruin = Romance?!!
WHAT THE EFFING HELL is going on?!

Okay, okay. I’m overreacting. Seeing “enemies” get along well together does actually make me feel all furry and toasty inside and blah, blah, blah. But I’m exaggerating for a reason. Because in the case of recovery from an eating disorder, this ain’t all lovebirds and cute anymore.

You see, I’ve been chatting with a few people about recovery from eating disorders. And one common obstacle I find is the reluctance to march into a life-or-death battle.

Recovery is a tough, gritty battle. But there is a reason why it’s called a battle. There is a reason why you’re asked to fight in a recovery. Because recovery, ultimately, is the battle between wanting to remain eating disordered and the desire to be free.

Before I even considered recovery, I have to admit that life wasn’t all that complicated. I had a definite goal, and that was to continue on with my eating disordered habits and behaviors, to dwell and thrive in my disordered and self-mutilating thoughts.

But in came Recovery the Bitch. Suddenly, there were two conflicting forces within me. I longed to burst out of my eating disorder, but yet at the same time, I was reluctant to give up a lot of my eating disordered ways. I tried to compromise. I tried to make excuses. I tried to bargain, thinking, “I’ll stop doing this but continue doing that, etc.” But at the same time, deep down I was despairing, because I knew that holding on to these things would never let me truly recover.

Well, it got me nowhere. In fact, there was a time when I actually physically gained the weight. But a few months later, I relapsed and plunged deeper into my ED demise than ever before.

And so I came to this conclusion: There is no 80% recovered, or even 99% recovered. You are either recovered, or you’re not. Otherwise, you’ll be forever caught in that never-ending  contradiction between Life and ED.

You have to choose. You can’t face a battle straddling both sides. Make up your mind, and stick to it. Fight for it, tooth and nail, with all your might and soul. Honestly, the biggest turning point in total recovery is the moment you single-mindedly determine that you want to get rid of every trace of ED, once and for all. From then on, things aren’t so complicated, because you have only one goal and purpose in mind, and that is to destroy ED.

And that means, you’ve got to make a complete turnover. No more calorie-counting. No more diet products. No more abusing exercise. No more “fat” thoughts. No obsessive weighing/measuring. No avoidance of any particular foods, no bringing your own food to social events, no repetitive eating of the same things over and over again. I could go on and on, but you yourself know the things you have to change best.

This is a battle. And we cannot ever entertain thoughts of befriending or compromising with the enemy. We need to pulverize him. Or hang him, for this matter. Very much like this:
Hang the Bruin bear!
DIE, Bruins!

Here’s a stellar Trojan boo-ing a couple of passing Bruins:
OMG. Do you see that little kid with the toy sword? Tee hee hee!
 
Put on your full armor, because we’re gonna win!
Unfortunately, this is a bad statue. He looks like Bill Clinton.

Anyway. I’m very pleased to tell you that USC totally kicked UCLA’s ass at our football game on Saturday. Sorry, Tra and Sue!

To celebrate, my church friends and I went on a Pho trip. Unfortunately, I have to say that while USC definitely trumps UCLA in many areas, food is just not one of them. There is just a total lack of good restaurants in the USC vicinity!

We went to apparently the best Pho place in the USC area, Pho 36:
Instantly, I was suspicious to see Korean writings on the menu:
But the owners looked Vietnamese enough, so my fears were appeased.

The interior design was pretty neat and chic:
But I do not like this ugly Buddha figure:
I’m pretty damn sure the real Buddha in history was not a fatso with dangling earlobes.

I ordered the PHO House special:
 Rare steak, brisket, tendon, tripe, and meatballs in rice noodle soup with fresh herbs.
They also gave me an abundant side of raw onions, basil, bean sprouts, cilantro, jalapeño, and lime slices.
The “rare” steak became cooked in the hot broth:
But it was tasty enough.

It was my first time eating Vietnamese meatballs:
 It was meaty. Very meaty. Not bad!

Call me crazy, but my favorite was the tripe:
 Chewy! Yummy!

Unfortunately, the noodles were mushy and overcooked:
The broth wasn’t bad but it wasn’t as rich and intense as I would have liked. I added tons of sriracha and hoisin sauce:
One of my friends ordered a dish I’ve never seen before, the Cha Gio:
 Vermicelli rice noodles with egg rolls, vegetables and char-boiled steak. It comes with a sweet and spicy dressing called Nuoc Cham, which you pour over the entire dish.
Cool. I wish I’d ordered that, but I hate vermicelli noodles. Nasty skinny things.

Well, Thanksgiving weekend is over. Three more weeks of intense stress, and then it’s all over! I might or might not blog during exam week, but we’ll see.

Have a great week, everybody! Fight your battles!

Question of the day:

For those in ED recovery: What is your thought on the ED battle? Do you think there is something you are unwilling to let go off?

For those not in ED recovery: Skinny noodles (like vermicelli, angel hair). Love or hate?

Thank God There Is No Forever 21

I love the American system of determining one’s age. You are allowed to stick to your previous age until you hit your birthday, and you don’t turn one until you live outside of your mother’s womb for a whole year.

Now, compare it to Korean age reckoning. Your age starts at conception, not birth, and you gain a year each time you pass a new year. So, by Korean age reckoning, I am…23 years old, and just 2 months away from becoming 24 years old (!!).

But thankfully, I live in America, and I can still gleefully declare that I am 21 without being a liar. But of course, there is no such thing as Forever 21. Because in just 2 days, I turn 22. Dun dun dun…

I remember that when I was a kid, turning older was a big, flashy event. The day I turned 11, I proudly told my parents I am no longer a kid, but a “mature” teenager (Like that’s a good thing? Helloooo puberty!). It took me about 3 more years to actually start becoming a bit more mature, but the fact that I could no longer count my age with my ten fingers thrilled me.

But then, birthdays started becoming a drag. Why? It was nothing but a single day in a year. But the fact that it was supposed to be special, supposed to be celebratory, made it all the more depressing when the day did not measure up to expectations. On my 14th birthday, I spent the night crying in bed because I had just moved to America and had little friends, and my mom bought me the ugliest winter jacket from Costco for my birthday present (I’d wanted a cute peacoat).

On my 17th birthday, I cried all night again, but for a more serious reason—I was distraught in despair, as I felt myself sink lower and lower into my anorexia.

On my 18th birthday, I once again cried all day—It was only a few weeks since I had been sent home from Northwestern because of my eating disorder.

On my 19th birthday, I cried again because I was missing my parents. I had moved out a couple months earlier after a huge fight with them, and I had relapsed, hard.

On my 20th and 21st birthday, I did not cry. I was just far too emotionally detached to have any sort of real, painful feelings. I woke up, I went out for an obscenely long walk, I came back home, I obsessed over my food rituals, I went to bed with nothing to look forward to. No hope, no excitement, no nothing.

And here comes my 22nd birthday on Wednesday. Honestly, I’m still not sure how exactly I feel about my birthday. But I do know I am feeling something. It’s a mix of “Holy shit I am freaking old!” and “Wow, look at how much I changed in a year” and “Thank you Lord, for letting me still be alive”.

I can’t describe it. But overall, I can say I’m feeling positive. Hopeful. A bit annoyed at how fast life passes by, but ultimately, pleased and thankful to God who has sustained me through piles of crap and drama, and to all the lovely people out there who have patiently endured me.

By the way, one thing I will not be having on my 22nd birthday is that stinky seaweed soup Koreans traditionally eat during birthdays. Thank goodness I’m away from my mother on my birthday, or she might have tried to make me  have some. However, there is another birthday tradition, common among the Chinese, which is eating noodles. The long strands is supposed to symbolize longevity.

I don’t care for longevity, but I’ll take the noodles!

Hot & Cold Pasta Salad

For the pasta dressing:

• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup freshly-squeezed orange juice
• 1/2 cup POM juice
• 1 tablespoon dijon mustard
• 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
• milk (according to taste)
• salt and pepper

For the “hot” ingredients:

• olive oil
• 1/2 large red onion, sliced thinly
• 2 links Trader Joe’s Apple-Chardonnay sausages, sliced
• grated orange zest

For the “cold” ingredients:

• 1/2 green apple, thinly sliced
• handful dried berries
• handful dry-roasted pistachios
• basil leaves, chopped finely
• 2 cups chopped romaine lettuce
• handful feta cheese

For the pasta:

• about 5-6 oz whole-grain linguine (did not measure)

water and salt

Mix all the dressing ingredients together, set aside.

Bring a pot of water to boil with salt, and cook the linguine according to packet directions.

Meanwhile, cook the onions with the oil on a skillet until slightly softened, then add in the sausages. Pour in the dressing, and cook until the onions are soft and caramelized, and the sausages are cooked through. Grate in the orange zest.

Once the pasta is done, drain it, then toss into the hot ingredients. Turn off heat.

In a large salad bowl, toss all the cold ingredients except the feta cheese with the skillet ingredients. Mix well, then dish out onto a plate, and top with feta cheese. Grate more black pepper and orange zest if you like.
Look at that! Why only eat this on your birthdays? I wouldn’t mind eating this everyday!
I loved all the different components of this dish. Sort of like a hot pasta, but tossed into a salad. There are the hot, caramelized onions, and the hot, charred sausages…
Balancing out the cold,  refreshing lettuce, the tart green apples, the crunchy pistachios, the chewy dried berries…
A toast to our longevity!
And another toast to a great friend who waited patiently for me to be done taking pictures!
Obviously, this dish was a bit pre-mature. It’s not my birthday yet, but I think I know what I’ve having on Wednesday!

Question of the day: What is your birthday tradition? Doesn’t really have to be food, though that would always be welcome!

Sanity Tips from a Grouch

“Are we there yet?”

That is the question uttered wearily by every student during this point at the semester. Go on, ask one. They’ll turn to you with bleary eyes and caffeinated jitters, and repeat that same question.

Mid-terms has just past, like a great typhoon of late-night studying and flurry of readings and scribblings. The tide has drawn, but you never know when it’ll flood back with a storm of new papers and exams.

Boy, college is tough. But I’m not here to bitch. I’m here to share a few of my secrets on how to stay sane in the midst of all the stress and craziness.

Here are a few of my own personal guidelines (some I break, some I uphold like a religious commandment):

Sophia’s Ways to Maintain Sanity in College

• The 7pm Rule: Never open a textbook or study or do anything academic-related after 7pm. Once the clock reads 7:00 pm, I close up my notebooks, and relax.
  (This is my favorite rule. I stick to it no matter what. Even during mid-terms. Which is why you could see my blogging when I have mid-terms the next day)
• The Morning Coffee: I always try to wake up about at least an hour and a half earlier than my first class, so that I can go out for a run, come back home, fix breakfast, drink my fresh-brewed coffee.
  (This sets me off for a good day. It is never a good idea to rush off to class right out of bed, because you’re just not in the right mentality to pay attention in class. Might as well sleep in. Also, without coffee, I’m a total…bitch)
• Be smart-selective with readings: I don’t read everything that my professor assigns. Some are just plain unnecessary! Figure out what the professor wants, and emphasizes on, and focus on that.
  (I’m still trying to get the hang of this)
• Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy: No matter what I do, even a 10-page research paper (groan!), I try my best to make it enjoyable. It’s not a matter of hypnotizing or forcing yourself to “enjoy” it, but a matter of changing your attitude about that assignment. Try to find some aspects of it that may interest you. If you stay positive, your time spent will be much more productive and effective.
  (True story. I experience this all the time)
• Start on your assignment ASAP: Don’t ever procrastinate. It can do you no good.
  (I actually start on my assignments the day I get them. While my classmates are struggling to finish their essays, I have mine done 2 days ahead of time. Love the breathing space!)
• Eat well: Duh. Like I needed to even tell you this!
  (But not if you have a mandated partial meal plan. Like I do. Scroll down, and let me explain)

Unfortunately, I still have 43 meals left to choke down in my school dining hall. Damn it. It’s already past half the semester, and I’ve only dined there for a total of 7 meals. And I’m already so, so, so sick of all the food there.

I have, however, found the dining cafeteria a good place to study:
They have internet access and power cords for my laptop, so I just hitch my Macbook up and take advantage of the unlimited drinks and snacks.

Like say, granola in a bit of milk, with chunks of chocolate:
Warmed up in the microwave, the chocolate melts into the mixture, and the granola gets sort of chewy…
Not bad, but it was too sweet. The first bowl was good. But after my second bowl, I thought I was going to puke.

So another time, I decided to do brunch, since how can anyone mess up brunch food, right?

Wrong.

Check this out:
 Salad, fruit, turkey sausage, frittata, and omelet. With diet coke.

Salad is fine. Fruit is okay. Turkey sausage is blah. Frittata is blah. Omelet is waaaaay under-seasoned.
How the hell does one mess up an omelet? Is this some crazy low-sodium rule that the school has? And where is the cheese I ordered? No cheese makes Sophia a very, very unhappy grouch.

Disappointed, I just filled up on frittata:
…And more frittata:
And more frittata, with another sausage patty:
 And yet more frittata, with yet another patty:
I used the same plate for the omelet, so it’s still there, cold and rejected.

It’s something about the fact that this lackluster meal cost me $11 that makes me stuff myself to the brim with lackluster food. Does this make sense? That in order to get my money’s worth, I feel the need to fill myself up to the gills!

Poor Mimi. During our weekly Thursday meet-ups, I sometimes have to drag her to dine at the cafeteria. And they’ve been consistently bad. But we managed to find a few items that were actually edible.

Vegetarian Shepherd’s pie that was all potatoes and no filling:
Some kind of Indian-spiced vegetable medley that was actually pretty good minus all the grease:
 Mango-Chutney Chicken salad with tzatziki sauce:
Some kind of beef curry that was tough, stringy, and spat out:
Boring egg salad and tuna salad: 
These totally needed hot sauce. And lots of it.

On the brighter hand, I found out that Fridays was Asian-themed. Despite my ambivalence, the food wasn’t too bad:
 Asian sweet-and-sour rice noodle salad, cheese pizza, tzatziki sauce.

And second plate:
 Pepperoni & Sausage pizza, lemongrass mashed potatoes, green curry with shrimp and white rice

There was not a hint of lemongrass in that mashed potatoes, so I suspect they just threw that in there to sound fancy and go along with the Asian-theme. The green curry was pretty good, though.

So far, a lot of misses and a few acceptables. And I have 43 more rounds to go. God. Damn. It. I tried to swipe my friend in for a free meal, but they wouldn’t let me because I only have a partial meal plan.

Huh?! I’ve never heard such complete bullshit in my life!

To think my brother goes to Virginia-Tech, the school with one of the best on-campus dining, complete with lobsters and wood-grilled pizzas. Next time he complains about the food, I shall smack him and make him eat ours.

Wow. How did this post turn out to be so negative? Sorry, I promised not to bitch, but as I said, bad food makes me grouchy!

I’ll be back to my more chipper self by the next post. I promise!

Question of the Day: Remember my 7 pm rule? What about you? Are you a late-worker? A procrastinator?
And any tips for me to enjoy school dining food more?

Lovey-Dovey

I’m not a lovey-dovey person. I really am not. Cooing at cute little babies is foreign to me, and romantic gestures like flowers and cute “surprises” creep me out. If I ever get a husband, you’ll probably see us bickering and getting into passionate debates instead of passionate embraces.

That said, I have to admit I am very affectionate. I just don’t know how to show it well in person. Which is why when I need to express deep feelings and fondness for someone, I need to do it through writing.

Abby from Abby Has Issues spread some bloggy love to me about a week ago. I, in typical fashion, was an idiot and didn’t realize that I was supposed to spread it in return through a definite post, and not just regular commenting pleasantry. Abby reminded me to spread the love this weekend, so here I am. Thanks for being patient with me, Abby!
Now. Honestly, I was in a predicament about who to spread this to. Not because I can’t think of anyone, but because my head was bombarded by a whole list of names I wanted to spread this love to. Which is why it took me a bit longer to write this post. But I’ve finally whittled it down to three. Here they are:

1. Wacky Becky (tee hee) from The Nomad Gourmand:

This amazing, spunky bread-whore from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia has been one of my oldest readers. Her comments never fail to make me smile, as they are humorous, detailed, and personable. She’s been through some hard times, such as pneumonia, but she has endured them with grace, and still fights on. Despite her little antics and clowning, she has a deeper, more philosophical side to her, which I can see by her constant encouragements for me while I was still deep in the process of recovery. I find that amazing considering that she never and doesn’t have ED, she is so understanding!

Oh, and this little woman may be opening her own bakery soon…so when she does, please send her some love! <3

2. Grace Melody-Moo from Grace Points:

What more can I say about Grace, except that she is the most blessed and most blessing person ever? Grace has also been one of my oldest readers, and she has always given me such great comfort and advices. This is a girl who went through the same horror path as me, but who have fought and won the great battle. And now, she has dedicated her life to God, and is in seminary school.

This girl is my role model. I am always inspired by her wise reflections, her deep spirituality, and most of all, her simple and passionate love for God.

3. Mimi from Damn the Freshman 15:

And finally, Mimi. Can I tell you how much I adore this girl? I think her name has been mentioned in every single post ever since I came to USC. In fact, this post will be specially dedicated to her.

I have not stated this out loud in my blog, but Mimi is going through some bad food relationships of her own. In fact, before I even met her or knew that we would be in the same school together, Mimi had sent me a sincere and desperate email, finally admitting that she has an eating disorder, and seeking help.

If by help she means enjoying good food with her, then I’ve done a pretty darn good job. But honestly, I can’t take credit for anything. All I’ve done is sit next to her and eat up while she tackled her fear foods, one by one.

Let’s see…what did she overcome in the less than two months?

• A whole greasy burger at Umami
• Real pizza at Mr. Pizza, with the crusts
• Fried Thai noodles at the University Village
• A real sandwich (aka two non-diet bread pieces) with creamy brie at Sophia’s Kitchen
• Tons of butter-laden Italian cuisine at Zucca Ristorante
• Tteokbukki at Han Nam Market
• Mac & Cheese (not the non-fat shit) at Sophia’s kitchen

I know. Who is this mean, lean, eating, ED-conquering machine? This girl is SUPER-ED-BASHER! Even now, I am amazed at how willingly and determined she is in facing every of her challenging fear foods…She never once chickened out, she never once ran away screaming as I would have done about a year ago, but met each battle with tenacity and courage. I tell you, never ever underestimate a Southern belle!

A couple of days ago, Mimi faced another battle. This time, we met up with another fellow USC student and blogger, Kathryn.
Kathryn is the blogger of Froyoaholics Anonymous, and one of the most stunning girl I’ve ever met in person. This girl is gorgeous! I think I was a bit star-struck. She is also incredibly nice and sweet, and from the instant we met, we were gibbering non-stop about everything from froyo (her specialty) to horses to movies. Another cool thing about her? She has a car! Woo-hoo!! We took that opportunity to travel further than we could have.

We went to the Farmer’s Market at The Grove.
Remember that place my parents and I took a wrong turn to? Well this time it was completely deliberate as we sought out to try a cuisine that is dear to my heart…
  Singaporean cuisine! I was thrilled to find that L.A. had a small Singaporean eatery called Banana Leaf! Oh, how I’ve missed my hometown food!
We ordered three dishes to share. First, Chicken Mee Goreng:
 Thin yellow noodles fried with onion, chili, vegetables, tomatoes, and egg. Topped with spicy chicken.
This was okay. It wasn’t as authentic as I wanted it to be, but it was satisfying nonetheless. The chicken was tough and stringy, though the seasoning had a great kick, almost like fajita chicken. The noodles were a bit overcooked, but that just added to its crispness, which is actually desirable in Mee Goreng.
Second, Rojak:
Salad dish with jicama, pineapple, salad greens, bean sprouts in sweet and spicy chili sauce.
This was horribly unauthentic. It was more like a salad plate you can find anywhere else! The sauce is supposed to be thick, dark, and sticky, chock-full of peanuts, almost like molasses. But it was more like a regular liquidy dressing. Not to say it wasn’t good, but it was just disappointingly boring.

Third, Laksa:
 Coconut curry soup with noodles and fishballs
  This was just blah. It looks spicy, but it really wasn’t. The taste is supposed to be strong and pungent, a sinus-clearing sensation, but it was severely lacking in taste.
It came with keropok, or shrimp crackers:
At least this was pretty darn authentic! Nice and crunchy, with a definite dried shrimp flavor.

Now, obviously, none of these dishes are what doctors would recommend for weight loss. But Mimi sampled all of them and enjoyed it! What a trooper! That’s really the only way to conquer your fears…just DO it! Unfortunately, I can’t say Kathryn seemed to like Singaporean food too much…So sorry, Kathryn! You pick the location next time!

At least we had a great time! The best moment is when we al whipped out our cameras, of course:
Bloggers in action!
The farmer’s market is a really cool place. I wish I had a car to visit frequently! Because Halloween is near, they had some sort of Halloween-themed event going on:
Check out this amazing carved pumpkin!

And mom and daughter dancing to country music:
Aawww…
And basically, just a whole lot of food stalls!

Well, I’ve spread some blogger love, and L.A. love, and Singaporean love as well, though that particular food place disappointed me…At least, it still gave me a taste of home.

Now, go spread some love yourselves!

Question of the day: Name one fellow blogger you would like to show some appreciation to today?

Edited to add: The church member I mentioned on my previous two posts have just passed away. It was peaceful, without much pain. He left behind a young wife and two kids. Please keep them in your prayers.

Unpredictable

Thank you all for your warm regards towards my church member back in Virginia. His nutrition IV has been pulled as of last night, and for now, all we can do is wait…My father has already visited him many times, and the reassuring thing is how peaceful the man is…

Life is so…unpredictable.

My mom said something yesterday on the phone to me that struck me hard: “I went to visit him today…and Sophia, he looked just like you a year ago, all skin and bones. His cheekbones were protruding, and even the veins on his temples were visible…Oh Sophia, he looked just like you.”

That brought my memory back to about a year ago. I was beside him on the church altar. We were both on our knees, and the whole church was gathered around us, praying aloud for us. At that time, he had already discovered his cancer, but was not at a terminal stage yet. But I was.

We were both really, really ill. He wept and wept as the church prayed out loud, sincere and cut to the heart. In the meantime, my cheeks were dry; my heart was still hardened by despair and disbelief. I didn’t believe I’d ever get well, and I had pretty much given up on life.

How strange…that God chose to restore me, the disbeliever, but He chooses to take away the other who truly, desperately wanted to get well. I don’t understand the work of God. I really…don’t.

Oh, Lord, why? Why choose me? What am I, that you would preserve my worthless life here on earth?

I voiced the same question to my mom. “We don’t know the reason, Sophia,” she answered gently. “But trust in God that there is a purpose. Trust in Him, and give thanks to Him. Life is unpredictable, but God always is. His plans, His love, His wisdom, His righteousness are always faithful.”

Yes, you never know what kind of strange twists there will be in life. We plan and obsess and dream, but we never know where life will lead us. There are a lot of things that are just totally out of our hands, but I try to find peace in them through my trust and faith in God, who is eternal and faithful and unchanging.

Hm. Sorry to be all somber. I swear I’m not gloomy or depressed or anything! Just…reflective.

Speaking of unpredictability, this Los Angeles weather has the mood of a pubescent teenage girl! Last week, it was chilly, foggy, and windy. It drizzled like the tears of a petulant baby for two days straight. And today, the sun is shining bright and fierce in the 80’s, as if it’s making a forced, aggressive grin. 

Last week on Sunday, it was yet another chilly day, and after church service, everyone just wanted something warm and hearty. This being downtown L.A. where there is not a Panera in sight (WTF?), our general consensus was ramen.

A huge group of us trooped down to Daikokuya in Little Tokyo, in search of apparently the best ramen in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, the line in Daikokuya was outrageous, and there was no way the 20-something of us could fit in there. So we headed to the ramen shop nearby:
 Mr. Ramen. Seriously? Mr. Pizza, and now Mr. Ramen? Asians come up with the hokiest name! –___-;;;
Anyway. Cheesy name aside, the place was pretty cozy, decorated just like a welcoming little Japanese home, which was a pleasant sight especially when we were all chilled to the bone.
There were even stacks of manga! (I used to read and draw my own manga, until I decided that manga was sexist and treated women like honeymelon-breasted sex objects)
We totally filled up the whole place, us Christian Students!
These two lovebirds in front are engaged and are gonna have their wedding soon~

Anyway. The menu was very limited to just ramen and curry rice, with a few other choices, which was a good sign that this house really knew their ramen.

I ordered the soy soup ramen:
Wow! The bowl was twice the size of my head! And look at all the seaweed in there! I approve! >.<
The only thing I wasn’t happy about was the egg: hard-boiled? And just a tiny quarter? Come on! >:-6

But I loved the pieces of pork in there:
It wasn’t fatty and greasy like the one I had at Ippudo in NYC, but full of tender meat that just literally melted in my mouth.
And the noodles were nice and chewy and springy, just the way I like it.

Everyone ate with gusto:
However, I noticed once again that I was the only one who ate my ramen the “right and polite” way. Yes, I was the only one who made slurping noises!

Some of my friends ordered a half-size portion of ramen with a plate of curry rice:
That red thing there is pickles! I didn’t try it, but apparently it was good.

I was a bit worried about the price, but Mr. Ramen turned out to be just half the price of Ippudo. Awesome! But I didn’t get to pay. Someone else grabbed the tab before I did. I’m not sure who, but a big thank you to the generous ramen-buyer!

Another thank you to the Heart Thrive peeps who sent me this package:
Look at the selection! They are all made with whole-grains, with 30% Daily Protein, Fiber & Calcium and suitable for vegans:

• Apricot
• Date
• Cranberry
• Lemon Poppyseed
• Apple
• Chocolate

Now, I’ve got to be honest. On my first bite, I really did not like it. The taste was so raw; it was like eating uncooked oats or dough. It turned into dry crumbly paste in my mouth, and I had to choke it down.
The second time, I warmed a Cranberry one up in the microwave for about 20 seconds:
Much better! Now it was actually edible, and tasted quite good! This was the Lemon Poppyseed one.
  The third time, I tried grilling it on my George Foreman:
Ooh~ Is there anything Mr. GF cannot do? I loved how it was nice and crispy outside, but warm and soft inside. Yum!

And yet another time, I microwaved a Date one again, but added a bit of syrup on top for extra moistness:
I ate this with a fork like a cake. A dainty, pretty, heart-shaped cake. I think this was my favorite way to eat it.

Thank you, Mark, for this opportunity to try a new ultra-healthy snack!

Okay, I’ve chatted enough. I hope you all have a great weekend!

Question of the day: What was the most unpredictable thing life threw at you? It can be good or bad, serious or funny.

Cravings

Wow. I was really pleasantly surprised by the great response I got from my last post. Thank you for all your support and warm replies, everyone. Honestly, I was a tad bit worried that someone might misunderstand, take it personal, and be offended, especially since the majority of us are health bloggers.

But I would say that my blog is more of a “spiritual” and “mental” health blog with a few random rambles thrown in. If you’re looking for diet and nutrition tips, you’re in the wrong place.

That said, I did get a few thought-provoking comments. Some of you asked how you can listen to your body and pinpoint your cravings. I think that’s a really good question, and I’d love to hear everybody’s opinion on this.

I’d already responded personally to my readers through email, but I thought it might benefit some of you if I discussed this on my blog. Just be aware that this might not pertain to everyone. I’m speaking through my own experiences, and my answer is actually more directed towards those who have/are recovering from an eating disorder.

Question: What if I can’t figure out exactly what I want? Then what?

My answer:

Ah, I know that situation all too well, of staring and staring in despair into the pantry or menu, wondering what the heck it is I want or crave. After years of deprivation and doing everything against what my body was telling me to, I’d lost connection with my body. I couldn’t tell the difference between whether my body truly wanted that, or if it was just a fleeting appetite for some kind of new thrill or experience. And I also have to admit—sometimes I did kind of feel like having something, but I was too scared to try it.

There was also a period when I was truly deluded into thinking I wanted nothing but fruits, vegetables, yogurt, oats, and low-fat cottage cheese. But that was an illusion, because the truth was that I just couldn’t imagine having anything else.

And then, I started being forced to try new things. My hosts in Singapore challenged me to go eat out with them once a week, and I agreed. It was the best decision in my life, because I was being exposed to all the things I previously convinced myself that I did not enjoy – cheese, pasta, full sandwiches, crepes…It was amazing. It was ethereal. It was then that I suddenly realized all the joys and pleasure that I was denying myself!

Through this process of constantly and continuously challenging myself and trying new and scary foods, I re-discovered all my cravings. And by honoring them, I started to be able to start listening to my body. In the process, I also discovered that some of my taste buds have changed – I found out that I really and truly do not like steak, or barbeque, or nutrition bars, or soymilk, or onion rings, or desserts.

And you know what? It’s normal to have your taste buds change. People’s tastes change as they mature. For example, I dislike wine or alcohol now, but I don’t doubt I’ll enjoy it once I reach a certain age.

However, I also need to remind you that food is just food. Obsessing about what you want and what to eat is also not healthy. It is yet another form of eating disorder. See, food should be enjoyed and all, but its main purpose is also to sustain you with the energy to be able to do whatever you need in life. Panicking if you can’t have what you want, and feeling like every meal should be “worth the calories”…that just stems from your eating disorder mentality.

Conclusion:

1. Branch out and try new things. Don’t automatically think “no” to any certain foods, but have an open-mind that thinks: “I can and will eat anything and everything.” You might love it, or you might not, but how would you know unless you gave it a try?
2. If you can’t figure out what exactly you’re craving, then it’s ok. You don’t always have to eat what you want. So relax, and don’t fret about not being able to figure out what you truly want. As long as you ate well enough to still be able to enjoy your life, your food has served its purpose.
3. When you do the above 2 things, that’s when you start to learn to truly listen to your body. Just like any relationship, you need time to build the trust back with your body. And trust me, your body is smart enough to know that you don’t want hotdogs and fried chicken every single day.

There. I hope I made myself clear enough. If you have any more questions, please feel free to email me or leave a comment. And please, I’m no expert, so I’d love to hear everybody else’s opinions.

Oh, and I forgot to mention one other thing I discovered that I really don’t like: Pumpkin ice-cream. After reading raves about this limited edition of ice-cream from fellow bloggers, I grabbed this when I saw that it was on sale for $2.50:

Yuck!! It tastes like pumpkin pie. I know, I know, what the hell was I expecting, right? But the word “pumpkin” deceived me into thinking it would be better than it was. I guess even pumpkin can’t mask the fact that I really don’t like sweet stuff like ice-cream and pie.

But! In light of what I’ve discussed previously…I think it’s also a great idea to :

1) just try something you’ve never tried before or

2) try something from your childhood days!

And that’s exactly what Mimi and I did today. We went to a Korean grocery store in Koreatown:
  For me, it was a wave of nostalgia to hear all the loud and boisterous chatters of Korean folks, and to sniff in that garlicky, fermented odor of kimchi. And for Mimi, it was a whole new fascinating experience.
We decided to grab a bite to eat at the food stalls there:

We ordered tteokbukki:
 Rice cakes in spicy sauce with cabbage, onions, and hard-boiled egg.
What a pool of red! The lady was rather worried that Mimi might not handle the heat when she handed me this plate of spicy chewy goodness, but she totally underestimated our Southern belle from Texas!
Chewy, sticky, dense, and drenched in thick gochujang sauce…Certainly puts all those puffy airy rice cakes to shame!

We also ordered steamed dumplings:
 Korean-style steamed dumplings filled with pork, chives, and vermicelli noodles.
The difference between Korean and Chinese dumplings? The Korean ones usually have more vegetables than meat, and they almost always have vermicelli noodles in them. Their dumpling skin is also a lot thinner than Chinese ones.
After filling our bellies, we went on a shopping expedition to smash our piggy banks. I introduced Mimi to tteok:
 Korean rice cakes, all varieties…
Aren’t they pretty? I love these, and I was really surprised to find that Mimi liked them too, as most people who aren’t Korean don’t. They expect something sweet like Japanese mochi desserts, but Korean rice cakes are only slightly sweet, and some are even kind of bitter from mugwort.
They are traditional Korean delicacies, and really make a great fast breakfast or snack. I eat them as snacks, but Mimi likes them as breakfast.

Speaking of which…I think I’m gonna heat up one of my tteok. And return to my studies. I’ve been in furious denial that I have 2 freaking mid-terms next week, and I now need to get cranking.

Question of the day: Any advice/tips/comments/suggestions for the question above? And if not, is there anything new or nostalgic you’ve tried recently?

P.S. Check out this amazing philanthropic program to make a difference in this world!

P.P.S. I won Biz’s cheese giveaway with my Kabocha Mac & Cheese recipe!!!!!!!

Message from my English Student

Each night, with bleary eyes and aching fingers, I still have my eyes glued to my Macbook, typing out an email to my parents. Yes, I email my parents every night. And strangely, our relationship seems to have crossed another level through our daily online communication.

While it takes me a mere 10 minutes or so to write out an email, it takes roughly an hour for my dad to type out a much shorter email with his two fingers and stumbling English. He refuses to type in Korean, because he apparently wants me to be his English teacher. He is a very bad student, though, neglecting to do his homework of responding daily. Instead, because it’s hard for him, he responds to about 1 out of 3-4 emails I send him. I’m glad I don’t have to grade him, because I might have to fail him terribly.

But honestly, I get no bigger joy seeing a new message from him flashing on my gmail inbox. Though his English is horrendous and he calls my mom “Mam” and messes up the most basic pronouns like “he” and “she”, I LOVE to read his emails. He even takes the effort to insert in cute little emoticons like this: ! That’s when I send him pictures of yummy food

Each time I read his words, I feel like I’m being enveloped into a warm hug. I read them over and over, and since they are usually short and meaningful, I replay them over in my head during the course of the day.

A few days ago I wrote my parents an email boo-hooing about how I was surrounded by all these beautiful girls in school, and that I cannot help feeling rather inferior and drabby next to them. But mostly, I lamented about why I was unable to overcome this sort of petty teenage-girl vanity.

This was his reply to me (edited):

“Dear Daughter,

Yes! Beauty is very important! Think about the brothers and sisters in our church whom you love. Do they have big eyes? Fair skin? Designer clothes? No! But why do people love and envy them so much, and want to learn from them? Why do you see them as beautiful, not only in their inner beings but also in their appearances?

The secret is come from their Humility! Their humility makes them wholly satisfied with their own conditions, thus their heart is full of gratefulness to their Creator, and all grateful souls & faces are beautiful! 

Here’s another secret to their beauty: Their "love & compassion" to all people. They truly have compassion to all people, just like Jesus Christ did. They would rather choose the low position rather than the high position, because they hate boasting or arrogance of all kinds that might make other people feel inferior.

The most humble and compassionate person is our Lord, Christ Jesus. Truly, all of us have to learn more from Him. Mom and dad truly hope & pray that you and Song (my brother) will enjoy the true beautiful life with a joyful and grateful heart, and we pray that our dear children will be the comfort to many poor and wounded people with your humble and passionate soul.”

Wow. I think this is better than any therapist out there. I love, love, love my parents so freaking much. I teared up when I read this, and I was suddenly hit by this aching desire to fly back home and throw my arms around them both.

Of course, my dad wasn’t done. He sent me this last message:

“Dear sweetheart, You are the most beautiful girl in His eyes and in all the eyes of those who know you. You are the one who is created so uniquely in His perfect design. You were born to receive blessings and to give blessings to many  God’s people, amen! God bless, and remember to smile to everyone! ”

And then he added that last little cute emoticon. Hee hee hee!

Now you see why no matter how tired I am, I absolutely have to keep in touch with my wonderful parents, because they always know how to lift me up!

I do blame them, though, for my cravings for Asian food lately. It’s crazy. I used to be the girl who said, “Anywhere but Asian!” when we dined out. I know, I know, I’m an Asian who hates Asian food. But it seems like I’m getting more in touch with my Asian roots lately. I’m downing Korean rice cakes (tteok) everyday, and check out some of the latest eats I’ve had:

 
Mimi and I went to this Thai food stall at the international food court in University Village.
It’s small, it’s loud, it’s dirty, it’s noisy, and I loved how it reminded me of a good ol’ hawker centre in Singapore.

We ordered two dishes to share. Mimi chose the Pad See Ew:
 Pan-fried flat rice noodles with chicken and egg and vegetables.
Yum! It reminded me a lot like the hor fun I loved in Singapore, but sweeter and without the gravy.

I ordered the Shrimp and Chicken Pad Thai:
 The most unauthentic Pad Thai ever.
Okay, it wasn’t bad, but it was definitely not the Pad Thai I was expecting. Instead of tamarind and fresh ground chili, it was spiced up with Sriracha sauce. Ah, well. At least it tasted fine. It just wasn’t Pad Thai, but good oily noodles with tons of Sriracha sauce.

And the following Sunday, I followed my church friends to a Korean food court!
Gosh, LA really rocks! Apparently Los Angeles has the biggest population of Koreans. I believe that!

They even had a stall making fresh Ho-bang! (Steamed bun with red bean filling)
I took me a while to decide, but I finally ordered a real comfort food that I used to love when I was in Korea:
 Kimchi and Octopus juk (rice porridge) with four different kinds of ban chan (side dishes)

This is another form of kimchi, called mul kimchi (water kimchi):
If you’re ever in Korea and you’re a pussy when it comes to spicy food, this is what you should order. It is refreshing, thirst-quenching, and just the slightest hint of toned-down spice.

And jang jo rim (marinated beef, my mom’s fave!):
 Pa Jon (Scallion Pancake):
Some kind of pickled root (Any Koreans help me out? Never really had this before):
The juk actually didn’t turn out as good as the ones in Korea. It wasn’t as flavorful or spicy. Sigh. It was huge, but that’s just the amount Koreans usually eat x-p
The chewy, rubbery octopus reminded me of my dad, who eats boiled octopus (or squid) almost every day with go chu jang.
 But I did steal a good bite of my generous companion’s dish!
 Pumpkin and cheese croquette with curry! Wooo!!!!

And some fried chicken popcorn:
But it sucked. I’m pretty sure it was the frozen ones from Costco or something.

Ah, well, can’t say I didn’t try! Seems like God is teaching me to appreciate my mom’s authentic cooking more…Hee…;-)

Question of the day: Do you live away from your parents? How often do you communicate with them? What do you (would you) miss most about your mom (or dad’s) cooking?

Foodbuzz 24, 24, 24: College Students Learn to Cook Gourmet

Some people say it’s coincidence. Some people say it’s just the symphonic workings of the universe. Some say it’s fate. I say it’s God’s handiwork. What happened here has to be some kind of divine interference, because this day could not have been more perfect. But let me backtrack a bit…

When it was time for this month’s 24, 24, 24 submission to Foodbuzz, the desire to be chosen was more passionate than ever. I was in a new city, a fresh environment, and a turning phase in life…What would be a better way to celebrate than the chance to earn a great meal?

But I didn’t want to be just blankly awarded a free fancy schmancy meal. This meal had to be extra special. This meal had to be earned, and it had to signify my new college life of exciting lessons and experiences. After much thought, I finally sent in this proposal to Foodbuzz:

I am a poor college student who has the misfortune (or fortune, depending on how you look at it) to be quite a food snob. The problem is, being a food snob in the campus of USC without a car is quite a problem, because the vicinity is pegged with the likes of Taco Bell, Burger King, and McDonald’s. Not that there is anything wrong with a little fast food, but one can only stomach so much McNuggets before feeling physically, mentally, and gastronomically sick.

Fortunately, I have a fellow mourner with me: Mimi, another food blogger who is also a student in USC. We’ve had a few cooking expeditions together in our tiny kitchen, but we would LOVE to have the chance to get a lick of real, classic gourmet cuisine. But we as hard-working students know all to well the saying: No pain, no gain. So we propose to participate in a cooking class in a famous restaurant called Cafe Pinot in Downtown LA. The date is just right, too, for there happens to be a class on September 26th!

Please allow us the chance to cook like real chefs and satisfy our taste buds with our own hands and toil. It’ll be an eye-opening and satisfying experience for sure!

Here’s what Cafe Pinot has to say about their cooking class: "Get to spend a Saturday morning learning the tricks of the trade from the executive chef at your favorite Patina Restaurant Group location. Each chef focuses on his/hers favorite dishes of the season, and you’ll get some hands-on experience in a genuine restaurant kitchen. You’ll sample your creations at the end of the class and take the recipes with you so you can recreate your delicious meal at home!"

a) This meal is unique because it is taught from an executive chef from a well-known restaurant in Downtown LA. It is a meal that is not to be eaten and forgotten, but a real hands-on experience and lesson so we can recreate the experience anytime we want in our own college kitchen. Just think of all the friends we’ll make with the temptations of our gourmet dishes!

b) I’ll be taking lots of pictures, as much as the chef would allow me to. I’ll try to take pictures step-by-step, and give a  glimpse into the behind-the-scenes of a real-life restaurant kitchen.

When I got the email that my proposal was accepted, I was like a shooting rocket of excitement! The acceptance came just at the right moment, too— I was feeling pretty crabby that day, and this piece of news really cheered me up— God’s handiwork #1!

I immediately set about to make a reservation for a class in Cafe Pinot. Thankfully, the spot was still open…or so it seemed. A day after I made the reservation, I got a call from the Patina Group (the company owning the restaurant) telling me that there was a glitch in the website and that the classes for Cafe Pinot on that day was full!!!

Holy crap! I was devastated! One of the rules of 24, 24, 24 is that all 24 chosen bloggers have to have their event on that very same day, so even though the company offered a class on another day, I sadly told her I couldn’t make it…

But in comes Mimi to save the day! When she found out I had to withdraw my 24, 24, 24 proposal, she immediately took matter into her own hands. She called up the company again, and somehow sweet-talked them into letting us into a cooking class…but in another restaurant, an Italian restaurant called Zucca Ristorante— God’s handiwork #2!

Now, as I sit here typing all these, I realize that I wouldn’t have chosen any other places if I had known about this restaurant. Zucca Ristorante is just perfect. Let me number the ways…

First, I didn’t know this until today, but “Zucca” means “pumpkin” in italian…And hello? Am I not the Pumpkin Queen?

Second of all, I’ve always wanted to meet Fabio, that hilarious Italian guy from Top Chef Season 5…And haha, today I met Fabio’s long-lost brother!
Say hello to our awesomely charming and funny chef, Lucio Bedon!
As you can tell from his name, he’s Italian, and yes, he has that amiable, ravishing Italian accent…I almost wanted to ask him if he could say, “It’s Top Chef, not Top Scallop!” but was afraid I might sound offensive or racist…-___-;;;

Chef Bedon was just totally…warm, friendly, and personable. He actually had a few dishes in mind to teach us, but was open to any suggestions we had. “You want to cook anything, tell me, and we can cook it. We have the whole kitchen, and all these ingredients are yours!” So of course we grabbed the chance to ask him to teach us how to make risotto and gnocchi!

The best thing about this was that there were only three people in a class! This made for an incredibly intimate and personal setting. The other “student” was a really nice and sweet Spanish lady, Elena:
The only downside is, she is a Bruin…>:-( But her kids went to USC so we’re cool!
  First we were ushered into the kitchen, where an apron and towel and several recipes were waiting for us…
Here’s Mimi and Elena donning their aprons!
We first sipped on a little sparkling Prosecco Di Conegliano from Canella, Veneto, Italy…
Then he showed us around the kitchen, which was impressively clean, neat, and nicely-stocked.
I wonder who’s the genie who comes every morning to prep all these stuff?
And BOY I want these mega-stoves!
And then we got cooking!
Or slicing! First up on the menu was a little Caprese Salad (Or Insalata Caprese if you wanna sound cool)…
Lesson #1: Stick to the ugly heirloom tomatoes. Store-bought tomatoes cannot be compared! And just check out this funky Green Zebra!
We even had a taste-test of different tomatoes, just lightly sprinkled with sea salt:
And then dug into our insalata Caprese!
Fresh heirloom tomatoes, fresh Burrata cheese, basil-infused olive oil, reduced balsamic, and microgreens.

Oh my freaking god, how can something so simple taste so…complex and out-of-the-world?
That fresh, fragrant varieties of tomatoes! That fresh, creamy Burrata cheese! That basil-infused olive oil drizzle! Words cannot describe the symphony that was orchestrating in my mouth!

Now that we had our veggies, it was time to indulge in some good ol’ carbs. Ooooh~ We headed next towards the pasta-making section:
Maria is the pasta-maker of Zucca, and this little lady is a Super Pasta Lady! She was super-fast and nimble with her hands, as she laid out dough and filling for the tortelloni…
Tortelloni filled with a mixture of pumpkin, Reggiano-Parmigiano, Marscarpone cheese, nutmeg, cinnamon, and pepper.

Cute little dumplings in less than a second! She makes about 700-800 of these a day!
Not to mention all the other fabulous pasta varieties like these little nests of noodles…
Don’t you love the deep yellow tone of that dough? Tons of egg yolks to make for an incredibly flavorful and rich pasta. Lesson #2: As Chef Bedon says, if you’ve got great pasta, all you really need is a sprinkle of cheese and salt!

He then dragged us away from Super Pasta Lady into our own pasta-making counter…
And taught us how to make our own fresh pasta!

About 12 ounces of good flour (Zucca uses some special kind of flour from Italy) on the table, sprinkle some salt, make a little well and break two eggs in it…
Mix the surrounding flour in with a fork: 
And knead patiently and gracefully…
Get some elbow grease in there…
After that expert demonstration, we got to dirty our own hands to make our own…
That’s ME in the bottom left corner, but ignore that and focus on Mimi’s joyous expression! Hee hee hee! Chef Bedon has the honors of these pictures…

Anyway, making pasta is a bit harder than I thought, but check out my pitiful finished product…
Looks like crap, doesn’t it? This was wrapped and laid aside, but I don’t doubt the chef ended up tossing it once I left

As soon as we were done with our pasta dough which were doomed for the dogs, Chef Bedon dished out some cooked potato for gnocchi!
Lesson #3: When making gnocchi, try to make the potato as dry as possible. If you’re boiling, boil with skin on. But best if you can bake these, so as to release moisture. And use as little flour as possible so that your gnocchi won’t be heavy and doughy.

Other than that, the procedure is really simple. Just dust with flour:
Mix an egg (or not, but Chef Bedon prefers it with an egg and I’m gonna stick with whatever this genius says):
Then somehow transform it into an elongated dough that looks like a chicken according to Mimi…(LOL!)
Whoa! How did that get transformed into these perfect little pillows?
Honestly, I was talking with Elena and completely missed the process, but wow he works in lightning speed! He then dropped them into boiling water and within minutes out came these cute little dumplings!
They were good! Light, yet with substance. We nibbled on them straight and without a sauce, but the salted water still made it rather tasty!

Now on to the highlight of today’s class…Making RISOTTO!
 For a basic risotto recipe, you just need onions, olive oil, arborio rice, white wine, and stock. First get a good pot, and sweat some diced onions in good olive oil…
Then add in the rice…
…and coat it real good with the oil, almost sort of toasting it…
Then pour in a bit of white wine, and ladle in boiling stock…Lesson #4: Never use cold wine. This will “shock” the risotto and prevent it from releasing all its flavors. Same goes for every other dish out there!
Lesson #5: To keep risotto cooking in an even heat, place the pot on top of a metal plate like so:
Directions are simple and boring: Stir. Pour. Stir. Pour. Stir. Pour. Stir, stir, stir. Meanwhile, have a sip of Chardonnay from Salmon Creek, Sonoma…
Be amused by Chef Bedon’s bewildered expression as he talks about how ridiculous molecular gastronomy is…
“Why do I want to spend so much time and money into taking an olive, injecting it with chemical, messing around with it, returning it into an imitation of an olive, when I can just grab a damn olive and put it in my mouth?”

And then get touched as his expression softens up while talking about his 5-year-old and 7-year-old sons…
Apparently his 5-year-old son just picked up a violin and instantly knew how to play it. Hmm, Mozart in the making?

Then Chef Bedon totally hit a shocker on me by blasting out this baby:
 Roasted butternut squash! Holy freaking COW! YES YES YES!

He dumped a whole cup of it into the risotto:
Of course I was again screaming YES, YES, YES! ZUCCA, ZUCCA, ZUCCA! As for the finale, he seasoned it with salt and white pepper, dumped cubes of butter and handfuls of Parmesan cheese, and ladled it out into a plate like so:
Lesson #6: Use white pepper for a sweeter spice, and for invisibility.
Lesson #7: Use a bigger spoon to ladle out freaking delicious risotto like this! Oh my God, this little plump pearls were amazing! Flavors were dancing in my mouth, and the main ingredients were just arborio rice, butternut squash, and cheese! I’m definitely recreating this dish in my kitchen! I shall hunt down arborio rice as soon as I can! YUM-FREAKIN-LICIOUS!

And that’s not all, folks. Chef Bedon indulged us further by slapping out this fresh slab of whole Branzino!
Branzino is a Mediterranean sea bass, and is slightly leaner than the normal ones we are familiar with. This took mere minutes to prepare. Chef Bedon just split the whole fish into two halves, seasoned them with salt and pepper, then carefully placed each onto an extremely hot oiled pan:
 Lesson #6: Make sure to slit the fish before putting it under high temperature, or the skin will shrink up and the fish will fold over unattractively.

While the skin got all nice and crispy, the Chef started improvising for the sauce. He decided to prepare it two ways. The first, he decided to make a butternut squash sauce (squeal!). That’s butternut squash, fresh sage, butter, salt and pepper cooking in a pot:
He later added cream and more butter to create a nice luscious thick sauce. Then he swiped the sauce out onto a clean plate, placed the fried fish on top, and decorated it with thin slices of candied yellow beets:
AAHHH!!! Amazing! Incredibly crispy and thin skin, juicy flesh, mopped up with that luxurious butternut squash sauce…
And the candied beet was so intriguing! Chef Bedon just popped it randomly into my mouth before revealing to us what it was.  I seriously thought it was sweet potato at first, it was such a pleasantly sweet and intense flavor!
 
For the other fish, he just tossed in a sprig of fresh thyme, a garlic clove, olives, and grape tomatoes with a splash of white wine and butter:
On the other pan he fried some potato slices and summer squash, and then dumped everything out onto a plate:
Oh, it’s so hard to choose which is better! Both from the same fish, but completely different flavors.
This one was deep with Mediterranean flavors, with the saltiness of the olives, the sweetness from the tomatoes, and the kick from the white wine…Incredible!

I loved, loved, loved our cooking class. Chef Bedon was just the perfect teacher one could ask for. He was kind, funny, and generous – Our class was supposed to end at 1 pm, but we went well over 2 pm! Not only that, he offered us another free lesson of making tiramisu! Who is this guy, an angel from foodie heaven? Forget Fabio from Top Chef, I like this guy!

All in all, this was definitely an experience I will never forget. Thank you, God, for letting there be a glitch on the website so we were transferred to this restaurant instead. Thank you, Foodbuzz, for this wonderful, spectacular, mind-blowing opportunity to cook simple, yet fabulously upscale food. And thank you, Zucca, for providing great food, and great people!
I’m now on a savage hunt for arborio rice and white wine. Who’s with me?

P.S. For you Angelenos who want a similar experience of your own, sign up for your own cooking classes here!