Lovey-Dovey

I’m not a lovey-dovey person. I really am not. Cooing at cute little babies is foreign to me, and romantic gestures like flowers and cute “surprises” creep me out. If I ever get a husband, you’ll probably see us bickering and getting into passionate debates instead of passionate embraces.

That said, I have to admit I am very affectionate. I just don’t know how to show it well in person. Which is why when I need to express deep feelings and fondness for someone, I need to do it through writing.

Abby from Abby Has Issues spread some bloggy love to me about a week ago. I, in typical fashion, was an idiot and didn’t realize that I was supposed to spread it in return through a definite post, and not just regular commenting pleasantry. Abby reminded me to spread the love this weekend, so here I am. Thanks for being patient with me, Abby!
Now. Honestly, I was in a predicament about who to spread this to. Not because I can’t think of anyone, but because my head was bombarded by a whole list of names I wanted to spread this love to. Which is why it took me a bit longer to write this post. But I’ve finally whittled it down to three. Here they are:

1. Wacky Becky (tee hee) from The Nomad Gourmand:

This amazing, spunky bread-whore from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia has been one of my oldest readers. Her comments never fail to make me smile, as they are humorous, detailed, and personable. She’s been through some hard times, such as pneumonia, but she has endured them with grace, and still fights on. Despite her little antics and clowning, she has a deeper, more philosophical side to her, which I can see by her constant encouragements for me while I was still deep in the process of recovery. I find that amazing considering that she never and doesn’t have ED, she is so understanding!

Oh, and this little woman may be opening her own bakery soon…so when she does, please send her some love! <3

2. Grace Melody-Moo from Grace Points:

What more can I say about Grace, except that she is the most blessed and most blessing person ever? Grace has also been one of my oldest readers, and she has always given me such great comfort and advices. This is a girl who went through the same horror path as me, but who have fought and won the great battle. And now, she has dedicated her life to God, and is in seminary school.

This girl is my role model. I am always inspired by her wise reflections, her deep spirituality, and most of all, her simple and passionate love for God.

3. Mimi from Damn the Freshman 15:

And finally, Mimi. Can I tell you how much I adore this girl? I think her name has been mentioned in every single post ever since I came to USC. In fact, this post will be specially dedicated to her.

I have not stated this out loud in my blog, but Mimi is going through some bad food relationships of her own. In fact, before I even met her or knew that we would be in the same school together, Mimi had sent me a sincere and desperate email, finally admitting that she has an eating disorder, and seeking help.

If by help she means enjoying good food with her, then I’ve done a pretty darn good job. But honestly, I can’t take credit for anything. All I’ve done is sit next to her and eat up while she tackled her fear foods, one by one.

Let’s see…what did she overcome in the less than two months?

• A whole greasy burger at Umami
• Real pizza at Mr. Pizza, with the crusts
• Fried Thai noodles at the University Village
• A real sandwich (aka two non-diet bread pieces) with creamy brie at Sophia’s Kitchen
• Tons of butter-laden Italian cuisine at Zucca Ristorante
• Tteokbukki at Han Nam Market
• Mac & Cheese (not the non-fat shit) at Sophia’s kitchen

I know. Who is this mean, lean, eating, ED-conquering machine? This girl is SUPER-ED-BASHER! Even now, I am amazed at how willingly and determined she is in facing every of her challenging fear foods…She never once chickened out, she never once ran away screaming as I would have done about a year ago, but met each battle with tenacity and courage. I tell you, never ever underestimate a Southern belle!

A couple of days ago, Mimi faced another battle. This time, we met up with another fellow USC student and blogger, Kathryn.
Kathryn is the blogger of Froyoaholics Anonymous, and one of the most stunning girl I’ve ever met in person. This girl is gorgeous! I think I was a bit star-struck. She is also incredibly nice and sweet, and from the instant we met, we were gibbering non-stop about everything from froyo (her specialty) to horses to movies. Another cool thing about her? She has a car! Woo-hoo!! We took that opportunity to travel further than we could have.

We went to the Farmer’s Market at The Grove.
Remember that place my parents and I took a wrong turn to? Well this time it was completely deliberate as we sought out to try a cuisine that is dear to my heart…
  Singaporean cuisine! I was thrilled to find that L.A. had a small Singaporean eatery called Banana Leaf! Oh, how I’ve missed my hometown food!
We ordered three dishes to share. First, Chicken Mee Goreng:
 Thin yellow noodles fried with onion, chili, vegetables, tomatoes, and egg. Topped with spicy chicken.
This was okay. It wasn’t as authentic as I wanted it to be, but it was satisfying nonetheless. The chicken was tough and stringy, though the seasoning had a great kick, almost like fajita chicken. The noodles were a bit overcooked, but that just added to its crispness, which is actually desirable in Mee Goreng.
Second, Rojak:
Salad dish with jicama, pineapple, salad greens, bean sprouts in sweet and spicy chili sauce.
This was horribly unauthentic. It was more like a salad plate you can find anywhere else! The sauce is supposed to be thick, dark, and sticky, chock-full of peanuts, almost like molasses. But it was more like a regular liquidy dressing. Not to say it wasn’t good, but it was just disappointingly boring.

Third, Laksa:
 Coconut curry soup with noodles and fishballs
  This was just blah. It looks spicy, but it really wasn’t. The taste is supposed to be strong and pungent, a sinus-clearing sensation, but it was severely lacking in taste.
It came with keropok, or shrimp crackers:
At least this was pretty darn authentic! Nice and crunchy, with a definite dried shrimp flavor.

Now, obviously, none of these dishes are what doctors would recommend for weight loss. But Mimi sampled all of them and enjoyed it! What a trooper! That’s really the only way to conquer your fears…just DO it! Unfortunately, I can’t say Kathryn seemed to like Singaporean food too much…So sorry, Kathryn! You pick the location next time!

At least we had a great time! The best moment is when we al whipped out our cameras, of course:
Bloggers in action!
The farmer’s market is a really cool place. I wish I had a car to visit frequently! Because Halloween is near, they had some sort of Halloween-themed event going on:
Check out this amazing carved pumpkin!

And mom and daughter dancing to country music:
Aawww…
And basically, just a whole lot of food stalls!

Well, I’ve spread some blogger love, and L.A. love, and Singaporean love as well, though that particular food place disappointed me…At least, it still gave me a taste of home.

Now, go spread some love yourselves!

Question of the day: Name one fellow blogger you would like to show some appreciation to today?

Edited to add: The church member I mentioned on my previous two posts have just passed away. It was peaceful, without much pain. He left behind a young wife and two kids. Please keep them in your prayers.

Cravings

Wow. I was really pleasantly surprised by the great response I got from my last post. Thank you for all your support and warm replies, everyone. Honestly, I was a tad bit worried that someone might misunderstand, take it personal, and be offended, especially since the majority of us are health bloggers.

But I would say that my blog is more of a “spiritual” and “mental” health blog with a few random rambles thrown in. If you’re looking for diet and nutrition tips, you’re in the wrong place.

That said, I did get a few thought-provoking comments. Some of you asked how you can listen to your body and pinpoint your cravings. I think that’s a really good question, and I’d love to hear everybody’s opinion on this.

I’d already responded personally to my readers through email, but I thought it might benefit some of you if I discussed this on my blog. Just be aware that this might not pertain to everyone. I’m speaking through my own experiences, and my answer is actually more directed towards those who have/are recovering from an eating disorder.

Question: What if I can’t figure out exactly what I want? Then what?

My answer:

Ah, I know that situation all too well, of staring and staring in despair into the pantry or menu, wondering what the heck it is I want or crave. After years of deprivation and doing everything against what my body was telling me to, I’d lost connection with my body. I couldn’t tell the difference between whether my body truly wanted that, or if it was just a fleeting appetite for some kind of new thrill or experience. And I also have to admit—sometimes I did kind of feel like having something, but I was too scared to try it.

There was also a period when I was truly deluded into thinking I wanted nothing but fruits, vegetables, yogurt, oats, and low-fat cottage cheese. But that was an illusion, because the truth was that I just couldn’t imagine having anything else.

And then, I started being forced to try new things. My hosts in Singapore challenged me to go eat out with them once a week, and I agreed. It was the best decision in my life, because I was being exposed to all the things I previously convinced myself that I did not enjoy – cheese, pasta, full sandwiches, crepes…It was amazing. It was ethereal. It was then that I suddenly realized all the joys and pleasure that I was denying myself!

Through this process of constantly and continuously challenging myself and trying new and scary foods, I re-discovered all my cravings. And by honoring them, I started to be able to start listening to my body. In the process, I also discovered that some of my taste buds have changed – I found out that I really and truly do not like steak, or barbeque, or nutrition bars, or soymilk, or onion rings, or desserts.

And you know what? It’s normal to have your taste buds change. People’s tastes change as they mature. For example, I dislike wine or alcohol now, but I don’t doubt I’ll enjoy it once I reach a certain age.

However, I also need to remind you that food is just food. Obsessing about what you want and what to eat is also not healthy. It is yet another form of eating disorder. See, food should be enjoyed and all, but its main purpose is also to sustain you with the energy to be able to do whatever you need in life. Panicking if you can’t have what you want, and feeling like every meal should be “worth the calories”…that just stems from your eating disorder mentality.

Conclusion:

1. Branch out and try new things. Don’t automatically think “no” to any certain foods, but have an open-mind that thinks: “I can and will eat anything and everything.” You might love it, or you might not, but how would you know unless you gave it a try?
2. If you can’t figure out what exactly you’re craving, then it’s ok. You don’t always have to eat what you want. So relax, and don’t fret about not being able to figure out what you truly want. As long as you ate well enough to still be able to enjoy your life, your food has served its purpose.
3. When you do the above 2 things, that’s when you start to learn to truly listen to your body. Just like any relationship, you need time to build the trust back with your body. And trust me, your body is smart enough to know that you don’t want hotdogs and fried chicken every single day.

There. I hope I made myself clear enough. If you have any more questions, please feel free to email me or leave a comment. And please, I’m no expert, so I’d love to hear everybody else’s opinions.

Oh, and I forgot to mention one other thing I discovered that I really don’t like: Pumpkin ice-cream. After reading raves about this limited edition of ice-cream from fellow bloggers, I grabbed this when I saw that it was on sale for $2.50:

Yuck!! It tastes like pumpkin pie. I know, I know, what the hell was I expecting, right? But the word “pumpkin” deceived me into thinking it would be better than it was. I guess even pumpkin can’t mask the fact that I really don’t like sweet stuff like ice-cream and pie.

But! In light of what I’ve discussed previously…I think it’s also a great idea to :

1) just try something you’ve never tried before or

2) try something from your childhood days!

And that’s exactly what Mimi and I did today. We went to a Korean grocery store in Koreatown:
  For me, it was a wave of nostalgia to hear all the loud and boisterous chatters of Korean folks, and to sniff in that garlicky, fermented odor of kimchi. And for Mimi, it was a whole new fascinating experience.
We decided to grab a bite to eat at the food stalls there:

We ordered tteokbukki:
 Rice cakes in spicy sauce with cabbage, onions, and hard-boiled egg.
What a pool of red! The lady was rather worried that Mimi might not handle the heat when she handed me this plate of spicy chewy goodness, but she totally underestimated our Southern belle from Texas!
Chewy, sticky, dense, and drenched in thick gochujang sauce…Certainly puts all those puffy airy rice cakes to shame!

We also ordered steamed dumplings:
 Korean-style steamed dumplings filled with pork, chives, and vermicelli noodles.
The difference between Korean and Chinese dumplings? The Korean ones usually have more vegetables than meat, and they almost always have vermicelli noodles in them. Their dumpling skin is also a lot thinner than Chinese ones.
After filling our bellies, we went on a shopping expedition to smash our piggy banks. I introduced Mimi to tteok:
 Korean rice cakes, all varieties…
Aren’t they pretty? I love these, and I was really surprised to find that Mimi liked them too, as most people who aren’t Korean don’t. They expect something sweet like Japanese mochi desserts, but Korean rice cakes are only slightly sweet, and some are even kind of bitter from mugwort.
They are traditional Korean delicacies, and really make a great fast breakfast or snack. I eat them as snacks, but Mimi likes them as breakfast.

Speaking of which…I think I’m gonna heat up one of my tteok. And return to my studies. I’ve been in furious denial that I have 2 freaking mid-terms next week, and I now need to get cranking.

Question of the day: Any advice/tips/comments/suggestions for the question above? And if not, is there anything new or nostalgic you’ve tried recently?

P.S. Check out this amazing philanthropic program to make a difference in this world!

P.P.S. I won Biz’s cheese giveaway with my Kabocha Mac & Cheese recipe!!!!!!!

The Real Natural Diet

“You’ve gotta eat your vegetables.”

Everybody has heard and known this since they were a toddler. For those of us who were lucky enough to have parents who cared, we’ve had broccoli and spinach and peas stuffed down our throat since young. Our parents deviously slipped carrots guised under some cheesy sauce, or cunningly cut up onions especially fine so that we won’t be able to pick them out.

This is why it may seem so strange to you that for the last three or so years, I’ve been hearing the complete opposite: “You’ve gotta eat your dessert and junk food.”

Because, you see, refusing to indulge in a while is a health problem, too. So is insisting on eating only “organic, whole foods” and nothing else. They’re both a mental health problem.

Now don’t go and smugly tell me you never have cravings. That you never want something sinful and sweet, or that you never occasionally dream of sinking your teeth into a nice, greasy piece of fried chicken or french fry. Because we all know that it’s total and complete bullshit.

I’d never been overly concerned about healthy eating, even during my worst eating disordered years. During my depths of starvation, all I cared about was the calories, and I practically subsisted on nibbles of carrot sticks, chocolate, cookies, muffins, and black coffee. Because I was severely deficit in calories, all I craved was sugar and caffeine.

Once I decided to “recover”, however, I sunk into yet another disorder: the obsession to eat healthy. Sounds virtuous, doesn’t it? Don’t let that deceive you.

At that time I claimed that I was trying to take care of myself now, that I was willing to “recover”, therefore I needed all the nutrition I can get— Bull-freakin-shit. That was just an excuse to be able to restrict, to be able to hold on to that form of control I was afraid to let go.

What am I saying here? I’m not trying to force McNuggets down everybody’s throat and advertise a reform for fast food and frozen entrees— this is our body and we have the responsibility to take care of it— but we need to give our bodies more credit.

I believe our bodies are wonderful, miraculous creations intricately woven by the hands of God, and that they can take care of themselves better than our own minds. The problem is when we try to control and analyze every milligram of vitamins, every ounce of fat, protein, fiber, etc. that enters our mouth, as if our bodies can be supervised and monitored like machines.

Let’s take protein, for example. I think I might have lacked in the protein department a bit because the last few days, I’ve been craving a good, meaty burger. And guess what? I listened to my body and got myself a burger:
Okay, I’ll admit: in true Sophia-fashion, I went totally overboard and ate 3 Carl’s Jr burgers and 3 Burger King Whoppers over the last 5 days. I was feeling icky by the 4th burger, but I still forced myself to eat it because I didn’t want to waste money. I’m all burgered-out now.

But! That also proves yet another thing: if you listen to your body, you won’t ever go overboard. I remember I used to be worried that once I let a bite of “junk food” touch my lips, then I’ll “lose it” and start craving nothing but junk food. Well, that is simply not true. After I satisfied my burger craving, all I felt was satisfaction. And I could live without burgers for a while now.

Another craving I strangely had today: Fried stuff. So I picked some criss-cut fries from Carl’s Jr:
Greasy. Crunchy. Hot. Salty. It was heaven.
Do I want to eat deep-fried stuff again now? Not really. I’ve satisfied my craving, and I probably won’t be wanting any fried stuff until my next craving.

Next up: sugar. I already mentioned before that I don’t really have a sweet tooth. But I noticed that on days when I’m really needing an extra boost of energy, I get my sweet tooth back:
I’ve long since finished this packet of Newman Own’s Organics Ginger-O’s, but you see my point (It’s awesome by the way, much better than chocolate Oreos).

Or I might suck on one or two of these Korean milk caramels:
My point is, there is no food on this Earth that is bad for you. Every food, even the “junk food” that we try to avoid, is nourishment and sustenance for our bodies and our minds. It only becomes truly bad when we abuse them.

Every food is allowed and every food is necessary, but in natural moderation. Notice I added the word “natural”, because that’s the kind of diet I want to have— the diet that is not ruled by numbers and data, but guided by the amazing, natural body that God gave me.

That being said, let me show you a dish that I think has a pretty good balance in both nutrition and indulgence. Again, I hate numbers, but I’ll say leaving about 20% for a bit of leeway won’t do you no harm in the least.

Kabocha-Grits with Sautéed Vegetables, Grilled Hotdog, and Soft-Boiled Egg

Kabocha Grits:

• olive oil
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/2 small onion, diced
• 1/3 cup dry corn grits
• chicken broth
• 1/4 cup kabocha puree
• 1/4 cup cottage cheese
• 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
• salt and pepper

Sauteed Vegetables:

• olive oil
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/2 small onion, diced
• 1/2 zucchini, chopped
• 2-3 shitake mushrooms, chopped
• squeeze lime juice
• drizzle balsamic vinegar

Additional Ingredients:

• 1 link hotdog
• 1 large egg
• feta cheese, crumbled
• black pepper

For the grits, cook garlic and onion in olive oil until soft. Stir in the grits, and pour in chicken broth. Bring to a boil, and let simmer, stirring constantly. Stir in kabocha, and cook until thick. Add more liquid if necessary. Remove from heat, stir in cottage cheese and Parmesan. Season with salt and pepper.

For the vegetables, just sautee all the vegetables together in a pan. Drizzle in vinegar and squeeze in lime juice to taste. Don’t go overboard!

Meanwhile, split and grill the hotdog in your trusty George Foreman. Soft-boil an egg (about 4-5 minutes). Peel the skin.

Once everything is done, ladle the grits onto a dish, toss the vegetables over. Place the egg and hotdog on top. Sprinkle with feta cheese, and grate fresh ground pepper over.
Hee hee hee, I know some of you are gonna groan and moan about that vulgar hotdog tainting the whole dish, but I like hotdogs! They are a cheap source of protein, and how can you not like these pink processed mystery meat?
But honestly, hotdogs taste so much better grilled like this. I love Mr. GF! I took a bite off the end before plating it, though. This was one huge fat hotdog. Compare it to the “large” egg!
And I really, really don’t get people who leave out the yolks to be “healthy”. The yolk is actually the most nutritious part! And that myth about eggs causing high cholesterol? It was proven wrong!! Just goes about to say how much you can trust these scientists…
And another more important reason why you should eat the whole egg: It’s freaking yummy!
  How about that? I didn’t even plan out the nutritional facts of this dish, and it turned out pretty well-balanced, in my opinion.
I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this post. I apologize if I have come a bit too strong, but I felt it necessary to point out that disordered eating and obsessive behaviors can come in all forms, even under the thin guise of healthy eating.

Again, I’m not implying that you should toss your Greek yogurt and forget about buying organic— if you can afford it, that’s great— but you shouldn’t let that control you in any way. Ultimately, food is just food—sustenance to help you enjoy your life. It would be just too sad and ironical if food was what robbed you from real peace and joy in life.

Question of the day: What are you craving right now? Be it donuts or celery sticks, just say the truth!

Pampered

I just hung up after speaking with my parents, and here I am sitting on my new desk, sipping on a fresh-brewed cup of Vanilla-biscotti coffee, and relishing the first few moments of the start to my life as an independent college student…

My dad’s last “sermon” to me is still ringing clear in my mind: “Just be happy today, each day. Because whatever circumstances and situation you are in, it is the perfect moment God has arranged for you, and that moment will never come back. So just enjoy every single moment!”

And then he ended with the usual “I love you, call often, eat well, bye bye.”

I’ll miss my parents. I’ll miss them a freaking lot. But now is the beginning of a new chapter in my life, and just like my dad said, I shall enjoy each and every single moment of it, the good and the bad.

The last four days with my parents have been amazing, though. My parents love my campus, and my new room, so much that for the past two nights we’ve just been cooking dinner in my apartment. Mostly oatmeal and eggs, because after all the fast food and heavy food both my parents and I start craving a good ol’ bowl of oats in the evening.

I feel rather bad, because for the past few days my parents have practically become my chauffeur and maid. I’ve been dragging them around the city everywhere to buy all my essentials and to stock up my kitchen, and spending so much money! Yesterday I wanted my parents to just go off by themselves to have their own little “vacation” but they refused and insisted on spending the whole day with me again. Awww…Of course I gladly accepted, because hey, I want to enjoy being pampered for as long as I can get!

So these are the places we’ve shopped in during the last couple of days:

• Korean supermarket
• Walmart
• Costco
• Trader Joe’s
• Whole Foods
• Japanese market
• Grand Central Market (DEFINITELY visiting again!)
• K-Mart (It SUCKS! NEVER go there ever ever ever!)
• Ross
• Dollar-Dollar Bargain Center

Phew! I’ve certainly been on a rapid shopping spree! But even now, my kitchen is still seriously under-stocked, and there’s still some supplies I need to get for my room. I had no idea there are so freaking many necessities one needs! Humans are fussy creatures!

My room is still unorganized, but I’ll update you with pictures once my roommate moves in (tomorrow) and we are both settled in.

So, what have we been eating to fuel up? Well, tons of fast food…But it’s been some great training for me…I sure can’t be a picky food snob anymore when I’m a poor college student! Besides…fast food is pretty damn tasty (Shh! Don’t tell anyone I said that)!

Anyway, the day before we finally managed to wake up early enough for some McDonald’s breakfast:
Sausage McMuffin with Egg. Too freaking yummy. Darn that MSG and artificial crap that makes food taste good!

For some reason I wasn’t craving pancakes that morning, so I had the McMuffin instead. But come afternoon, our minds were screaming heresy for not ordering the hotcakes in McDonald’s, so we had lunch at IHOP.

I ordered the Harvest Grains ‘N Nuts Pancakes Healthy Combo:
Pancakes made with hearty grains, wholesome oats, almonds, English walnuts, and blueberries. Topped with bananas. With 2 poached eggs.
This actually comes with scrambled eggs, but I substituted poached eggs because as you know, I love my runny yolks!
If you ever go to IHOP, GET THIS because it is freaking awesome! Drizzle on that syrup, and you’ve got one wholesome, sweet and savory meal!

But of course, we didn’t subsist only on chain restaurants. What is the fun of that? Knowing my obsession for European-Japanese cuisine, one of my dearest friends who is a former USC student recommended a little restaurant in Little Tokyo called Curry House:
It’s situated in Weller Court Shopping Centre, a little hub of Japanese stores. I let my parents take a look at the menu, and I swear I’ve never seen them so excited!
The place is really chic and modern with bright colors, and most of the servers were Japanese.

My dad, the ultimate seafood and pasta lover, of course ordered the Seafood & Wiener Jambalaya Style Curry:
Brimming with scallops, shrimp, squid, white fish, wiener & vegetables in a rich tomato stock. Made extra-extra-extra hot per request, of couse, and the rice was substituted with spaghetti.
Holy shit. It was SO freaking GOOD!!! For those of you who have never tried Japanese curry, it is a lot different from the Indian or Thai kind. Theirs is really thick, and more sweet than spicy. But this curry, though it retained the Japanese curry characteristics, was ramped up with Cajun spices. YUM holy YUM!

My mom took a long time deciding because she wanted everything (tsk, tsk) but finally she chose the Keema Curry:
Ground beef with onion, Shimeji mushroom, carrots, potatoes, garlic, red chili and soft-boiled egg. Served with brown rice.
I loved that they have brown rice options! This dish was really delicious too, though it was not as spicy and a tad bit sweeter than my dad’s dish. And I love how the Japanese like to top a lot of their dishes with a soft-boiled egg! Yum!

As for me, I went for something totally unexpected by ordered the Tarako Mayo:
Onions and Shimeji mushrooms with cod roe and mayonnaise sauce in spaghetti.
I’m not usually a big fan of mayonnaise, but Japanese mayo is just…fabulous. And the sauce in this was SO awesome! It was so rich and creamy, but not cloying at all because of the tang of the mayonnaise.
And LOVE the cod roe in there! It’s got a gritty texture, sort of like cornmeal for some crunch factor, but much softer, and when you bite into it, it releases sweet juices into your mouth and OH EM GI! You’ll have total gastronomic orgasm!
There was also a pot of some kind of red Japanese pickles which was sweet and crunchy and sour at the same time:
The three of us were greedy and actually finished the whole pot! Oops!

I was stuffed to the brim after finishing my dish (and stealing huge bites from my parents’ plates) because the serving size was way too generous, but we still ordered a dessert because nothing is better than Japanese desserts. We got the Sweet Potato Cake with Ice Cream:
If you’re wondering why it is yellow in color that’s because Japanese sweet potatoes aren’t orange. They’re yellow, and a million times superior in taste to the normal orange ones. They’ve got a deep, intense flavor, like roasted chestnuts.
The cake was actually more like a thick, dense, pureed sweet potato! I couldn’t taste the flour, and it was rich and creamy in my mouth. So good! The ice cream was just your basic vanilla. It was okay. Too sweet, in my opinion.

Oh, and did you know they also have another Curry House in that same shopping centre?
It’s a small To-Go place though, for those in a rush or for the cheapskates who don’t wanna pay tip (that might be me in the future).

I was ecstatic to find that there is a bus that comes here from my school. I shall most definitely visit again, preferably with friends!

Okay, one more thing I want to share and then I’ll shut up and be done. Anyone in LA been to the Grand Central Market?
Apparently it is LA’s largest and oldest open-air market. There are over 38 merchants selling all sorts of produce, delicacies, and unique specialty items…and the prices are SO cheap! A whole container of figs and strawberries for a freaking $1!! And grapes for 99 cents per 2 pounds! YAHOO!!
There were also lots of food vendors selling delicious-smelling foods like burritos, chicken rotisserie, frozen yogurt, Korean-Mexican fusion, Japanese teriyaki, overstuffed pupusas, etc…It was a pity I was too stuffed to eat anything, though I did consider getting the froyo. Well, there’s always a next time!

Okay, I’m running out of time…Gotta run again for Welcome Week stuff…My posts may be sporadic for a while, but I promise to return to blog as often as I can. I hope to be able to work out a schedule as I get adjusted to my weekly routine.

Till I return, please take care and remember to enjoy every moment of your life!

P.S. Take a look at this article on orthorexia…It’s scary.

I’m a Cow, Hear Me Moo

A friend I know likes to call herself “cao”, as in “cow”. Well, today I feel like a cow. Apparently happy cows produce really good meat…so if you butcher me right now, my meat will be nice and succulent, because hell yeah I’m a big fat happy cow right now!

Both my parents and I woke up pretty late after our long day yesterday, and by the time we were ready to set out on the happy search for breakfast, it was already late morning. We wanted someplace cheap and fast, so um…where else is cheaper and faster than McDonald’s?

Don’t judge— McDonald’s breakfast is pretty good! I was craving some good hotcakes, but to my utter disappointment, breakfast had just ended when we reached McDonald’s. So we had to settle for the boring old lunch menu…boo!

I got my first McDonald’s sandwich in about 4 years:
A grilled Classic Chicken Sandwich. No need to explain what it is, as I’m sure everybody knows what it is.

Then we were off to one of my most favorite place in the world:
 Ikea! Oh, happy shopping! This is so weird…but I get so bored shopping in clothing department stores, but I’m like an Energizer Bunny when it comes to kitchen appliances and utensils and silverware.  If I ever get my own apartment, you can bet my kitchen will be the  biggest, most glamorous and well-stocked room!

But shopping is hard work, especially when you’re trying soooo hard to resist the temptation of buying the whole store! Yes, I seriously think it takes a lot of brain energy to fight against the Ikea Devil. So I refreshed myself with a vanilla frozen yogurt from the Ikea Bistro:
Of course, this time I was mentally prepared: $1 froyo is NOT real froyo. So I wasn’t surprised that it tasted more like McDonald’s soft-serve than the tangy froyo I love. It still hit the spot, though! I sure was renewed with energy!

Which was a good thing because right after our shopping, we set off for a long drive to the Santa Monica Beach!
This place is perfect for people-watching! It was really windy and rather chilly, so we didn’t do any swimming and stuff, but just walked around the pier and observed all fun that was going on around us. Let me just give you a virtual tour:

There’s a small amusement park complete with bumper cars, mini roller-coaster, arcades, and etc:
 And freaking amazing artists molding a 3-D bust of your face:
Another mad-talented artist sweeping paint colors with his thumb to create a gorgeous landscape picture:
Sort of bungee jumping (Wheee~):
Some guy twirling around inside a hoop:

A girl “surfing” on a skateboard:
Even trapeze lessons!
Of course the great scenery of the lovely beach itself!
Mid-day we got kind of hungry, but it was way too early for dinner, so we grabbed a quick snack…The most expensive Taco Bell meal (damn tax!):
 Soft tacos with tons of hot sauce!! Goodness, we’re on a fast food roll!

But thankfully, the fast food adventure came to an end when it came to dinner. Actually, we were gonna stop by a fast food place again, but my dad took the wrong turn and we ended up in this fantastic place:
 Anybody been to The Grove? It is a shopping and entertainment complex in LA that is centered on a landscaped park and a dancing fountain.
It is crowded, lit with pretty lights and fashioned like an old-fashioned downtown. Oh, yes, it was a small heaven to which God sent us.
So of course we had to listen to God and eat some expensive dinner at a fancy place:
At Morels, a French Steakhouse and Bistro! (This is SO funny: I wasn’t gonna take a picture of my parents, but my dear daddy and mommy posed anyway, tee hee!)
And the fact that it actually had bright lights? Total God-send! Praise the Lord, Hallelujah!

The waiter immediately served us crunchy crostinis and crusty baguette:
I of course took charge of ordering. For my dad, I ordered the Seafood Fettuccine:
 Daily fresh fish, clams, mussels, and shrimp in tomato concasse, basil and marinara sauce, made as spicy as possible
 Holy freakuccine!! It was one fiery dish, and soo freaking delicious! The tomato was so fresh, the pasta cooked perfectly al dente, and the seafood juicy and flavorful! My dad took about 5 seconds to wolf this down, but I got to snatch a few big mouthfuls as much as I could.

For my mom, I ordered the Soup of the Day and a mesclun salad:
Cream of Spinach Soup with croutons. This was huge! And they served the soup in a hot saucepan which they poured into a gigantic dish (I forgot to take a picture of the salad but just imagine something green and leafy).

And also, a side of sweet potato fries:
Oh yes, oh yes! I shocked the hell out of my parents by shoving these into my mouth. Up till now, they have yet to see me eat deep-fried stuff, but I polished more than half of these off. Freaking yum!
It also came out with a tub of mayonnaise, but I actually preferred my fries dry:
And now the grand finale…The best of the dishes, the prime of tonight, the highlight of the entire day was my dish:
Alsatian Flatbread Pizza with Figs, Prosciutto, and Arugula: Mission figs, Pesto, Arugula, Emmenthal, Blue Cheese Crumbles
Okay, the description says it all. This was just…I thought I would die happy. There was angels singing in my ears, my tongue was in food-orgasm, and my butt was popping off the seat with gastronomic-joy. Holy. Freaking. Delicious!!!!!!
And if you can’t already tell from the picture, it was GIGANTIC! But the flavor was even bigger. The salty prosciutto, the bitter arugula, the sweet figs, the broiled cheese, the piquant pesto…
After our meal we were in total food coma. We had to drag ourselves out of the restaurant, and trudged around the Grove, enjoying the night scenery:
Beautiful, eh? But my eyes were too glazed and my body too heavy with food belly to enjoy it much.
We did stop by Forever 21 though, and while my mom and I racked through the clothes, my dad entertained himself by trying on some nice sunglasses:
But this was his my favorite:
 HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That sure made my day!

Okay, once again, I have to apologize for blabbing and sprouting incoherent sentences, but I’m drowsy with fatigue (the good kind!) and an immensely stuffed tummy. Ooh~ I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to eat anything again, thats for tomorrow’s worry.

Oh, by the way, tomorrow I’ll finally be moving in to my college apartment…Wish me luck! Next time I “see” you, I’ll be typing at my new desk in my new room! AHH! So excited!

I’m a Daddy’s Girl

Yes I am, through and through. I adore and admire my dad, and I’m not ashamed to admit that as a little girl, I used to declare to everyone that I want to marry someone just like my dad, but without the baldness.

My dad always tells me I am 99.99% just like him. We’re both strong-willed, emotional, type-A personalities with a temper that flares up and cools down just as fast as a banana flambé. We both love to read, think, write, and talk. We’re passionate about the people and things we love, and we’re both nerds— cool nerds. And yes, we even eat alike.

My dad’s ancestral side of the family were mostly scholars and artists. My mom’s ancestral side were mainly generals and warriors. While my maternal side (and my brother) loves their meat and proteins, my paternal side (and me) digs vegetables and carbs. My mom and my brother needs at least a bowl of rice a day, while my dad and I are happy just slurping up noodles and chewing on bread. Back when we used to have dinner together every night, there was always a Great Divide. Let me elaborate.

My dad and I used to have a favorite dish which neither my mom and my brother liked very much. Thus it was always a treat when my mom made it for us, and when she did, both my dad and I would dig in like famished hyenas, slurping and splattering everywhere while the other two family members rolled their eyes. When we were done, we asked for more until our bellies could take no more. Then we would lay back, pat our pot bellies, and burp out loud.

And each time, my dad would pat me on the head and say proudly, “This little girl here, she is truly my daughter through and through.” And I would beam with pride at the thought that I was just like my daddy.

Well, ever since my eating disorder, we haven’t had that dish together since. My favorite dish became too scary for me, because of the high-carb and calorie content. I remember a few times when my mom would make it, desperately hoping I would take at least a few bites, but I would refuse and run out in a fury. From then on, even my dad seemed to have lost the joy in relishing that dish, because there was no one to enjoy it as much as he did.

But today, I once again took up the role of Daddy’s Girl. We took a trip back to memory lane and slurped up this nostalgic dish again with just as much gusto…

Soo Jae Bi
(Or Korean “gnocchi”…no wonder I love gnocchi!)

Dough:

• about 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• pinch of salt
• water

Condiments:

• 1 Korean zucchini, julienned
• 1 onion, sliced thinly
• 2-3 eggs, beaten
• toasted nori

Soup:

• water
• dried anchovies*

*If you don’t have dried anchovies, then you can just use chicken broth or beef broth for the soup

For the dough, just mix all the ingredients except water together. Slowly dribble in enough water to make a nice dough. Then start kneading it and kneading it until it becomes smooth and pliable:
Leave it to sit for half and hour:
Next, boil up some water with the anchovies. Once the water is boiling, grab a fistful of prepared dough, and start pulling it apart:
Stretch them out into thin pieces of dough:
Drop little pieces of stretched dough into the boiling broth:
Once the dough starts rising to the surface, ladle them out.
Meanwhile, in another pan, sautee the zucchini and onions with some oil until soft and cooked:
You can add some fish sauce if you have that in hand for intensified flavor.

On another frying pan, cook the beaten eggs into a thin omelete, then roll it up and slice them up into thin strips.
Once all the dough is cooked, ladle them into serving bowls. Pour the broth over, and pile on the condiments. Shred some toasted nori on top. Serve!
Hello, old friend!

You can basically put any toppings you like, but our family prefers the Korean zucchini.
Oh and that “gnocchi” is so chewy and smooth and slippery! This is one messy dish because you gotta slurp it up good! Like ramen…remember? Hee hee.
The toasted nori adds so much flavor when it softens into the broth.
I like to drink the broth first, then slurp up the “gnocchi” one by one because that’s my favorite part!
And of course we eat it with some homemade kimchi!
I have to say, this brought back tons a great memories as my dad and I sat side by side, splattering everywhere again together as we used to. We both chewed like cows, and slurped like barbarians, but I sure didn’t feel like one…because at that moment, I just felt like Daddy’s Girl!

Question of the day: Are you a Daddy’s Girl? Or a Mommy’s Girl? With whom are you more alike…your father or your mother?

P.S. Anybody else with WordPress having trouble commenting on Blogspot? I have to hit the comment button several times before they accept my open ID address! >:-( Another reason why you should switch to WordPress

Conquering Good Eats in NoCal, Part I

I’m back! It feels so good to be back at my usual blogging spot, typing away like a mad lady after being so blog-deprived for more than a week. Call me crazy, but the tap-click-tapping sound of my fingers dancing across the keyboard is such a reassuring, soothing melody to my ears!

And congratulations all you smart foodies who guessed where my next challenge was!
In-N-Out!!! Hark, can you hear the angels singing?

I’ve heard about this famous burger chain a long time ago, but I had never even dreamed of even wanting to try it out for myself. I guess at that time, I couldn’t even imagine the picture of my lips touching greasy fast-food.

But those who have been reading my blog for quite sometime already know that I’ve got a personal list of fear foods. One of them was pasta which, as you can see, I’ve already conquered it once and for all. In fact, I seem to have become a human advertisement for gnocchi. Haha!

Anyway, next on my list was fast food. Specifically, deep-fried stuff like french fries. But the way I challenge myself is that I promise myself that if I’m gonna challenge myself with a fear food, I will go all out and make sure it’s good so that I will actually enjoy the experience. I’ve heard so many good stuff about In-N-Out that I knew I just had  to start my first challenge in there.
And it certainly helps how freaking cheap the food here is! I could hear birds fluttering around my head chirping, “Cheap, cheap, cheap!”
The best thing about In-N-Out is that they use quality ingredients, and they make their burgers and fries fresh right before their very eyes. When a restaurant (even a fast food one) has an open kitchen like this, that’s a very good thing.

With that super-simple menu, it took no longer than 10 seconds to decide on what I want. I ordered the cheeseburger:
Holy crap, it was good! Sure, it tastes just as a burger should…which is why I really liked it. It had this pure meaty taste, free of any unpronounceable and suspicious ingredients.
The vegetables were fresh, not limp and stale like the ones in McDonald’s. And the bun was plump and and crusty on the outside after being grilled with the burger, not flat and soggy like the ones in Burger King. 
Now, on to the fries:
Truthfully, after hearing so many raves about it, I was a bit disappointed. It definitely tasted much fresher than the ones in other fast food restaurants, but it just wasn’t that…great. Just something about the fried-taste turned me off. This surprised me because I used to love fries to the point of devouring two Super-size McDonald’s fries a day. I wonder if my taste preferences have changed? I’ll have to give fries another go sometime to make sure.

In the evening, Victoria, my host and one of my dad’s most faithful disciples, invited me out for dinner. We went for a short walk by the San Leandro beach (beautiful!), then hopped off to a Mexican restaurant nearby called El Torito.

As soon as we sat down the waiter served us some chips with salsa:
This was definitely not packaged crap like Tostitos! It was fresh-cooked in oil, and came hot and crispy to our table.

Victoria ordered the Shrimp Fajitas:
 Succulent shrimp sautéed in jalapeño-garlic butter with guajillo chile sauce

It came with a plate of rice, guacamole, and sweet corn cake:
And of course some warm and soft corn tortillas.
I ordered a summer special, the Camarones Yucatan:
 Tender shrimp, fresh vegetables, and chile-citrus sauce cooked together in a banana leaf for a unique flavor. Served with esquite de maiz and rice.

Looks good, covered in the banana leaf…But oh so disappointing when I revealed the contents!
Tender shrimp? No way! They were dry, tough, and chewy. I wondered if it was really squid in disguise! But Victoria was kind enough to share 70% of her shrimp with me. I felt kind of bad, but she ladled them into my plate before I could protest.
Though the shrimp was practically inedible, everything else was delicious, even the rice, which was cooked with tomatoes and spices.
The esquite de maiz was basically cooked sweet corn drenched in butter with some queso. It was good at first bite, but then the richness of the butter and cream got rather cloying.
The best thing about this dish though was the sweet corn cake! Freaking amazing! Think of the most luscious, moist, and flavorful corn cake, and there you have it! I could have had a whole loaf of this stuff!

Good food aside, I had such a fabulous time with Victoria. I know some of you may think it may be awkward to hang out with someone older than me by twenty-more years, but I feel so blessed that I am able to connect with people of all ages through our common faith in Christ. Cultural and racial differences aside, we are similar in so many areas, and I felt so comfortable and free to converse with her about anything from God to traveling.

So that was Sunday. I’ve still got some more great eats to share, but in the interest of keeping this post less painful and short, I’ll drag this vacation out to another post. Yay or nay?

Oh, and guess what? I might be having a blogger meet-up tomorrow! YAAAAY!!

I’m a walking, talking, eating, and pooping ice-cube

Why oh why didn’t anyone tell me that San Francisco is California’s own North Pole? I only brought a thin jacket with me, and I was a walking and talking ice-cube as I waddled and hobbled around San Francisco yesterday. My butt cheeks are seriously frozen in place and I feel like if I sat down too hard it might crack like glass!

But despite the crazy, temperamental weather, I had a wonderful time yesterday again. I feel this euphoric high rippling through my bloodstreams, and it’s not just from having a good time or food. It’s this relieving sense of…release. I think for the first time in many years while I struggled with an ED, I am truly learning how to relax and actually truly enjoy a vacation.

We go to places without really planning it out, stop by any restaurant that catches our fancy, and I’m allowing myself to just go with the flow. I don’t worry before meals, or obsess after meals. I do definitely enjoy my meals thoroughly, but once it is over I just forget about it and enjoy the next moment. I am filled with such hope…Can it be that this is really the start of my liberation from the control of ED? Am I really…being set free? Oh, I certainly hope so!

Yesterday was another whirlpool of activities. We set out to the Mission District to look at some murals, but we got hungry so stopped by this cozy-looking Mexican restaurant that looked pretty nice and clean.
Regalito’s decor was really stylish and chic, with my favorite shade of green:
Everything on the menu looked so good and they even was serving brunch, but I finally settled on a dish I have been wanting to try for ages:
 Pollo con Negro Mole: roasted free-range chicken thigh with Oaxacan mole – chili, dried fruits, nuts, and spices. Rice on the side.
Holy shit. Amazing! The sauce was sooo flavorful! If I remember correctly there should be chocolate in this sauce, and I could definitely taste a deep, cocoa undertone.
My cousin and aunt ordered several dishes to share:
 Sopa de Tortilla: Chicken broth, tortilla strips, toasted chile ancho, queso fresco, avocado

Unfortunately, the soup was way too sour…it tasted sort of like a Mexican-style tom yum soup. I thought it was supposed to taste that way, but Clara swears it shouldn’t.
 Guacamole con Tostadas: Avocado mashed with Salsa Mexicana and fried corn tortilla. Not my favorite.

And the Enchilada Verdes:
 Corn tortillas dipped in green chili sauce, filled with roasted chicken, with queso fresco, crema, onions, and cilantro
 This was good! I actually stole almost a whole piece. I love the green chili sauce, and it went so well with the tart cheese and sour cream.
They also served up rice and beans and tortillas on the side, so we made these little tortilla wraps:
After lunch we walked around for a bit admiring the famous murals, then hitched a ride on the Bart up to Union Square. We went to visit to MOMA, but for some reason I was so sleepy! After a heavy meal my body just wanted to doze off, so I laid my head on a bench and napped for 20 minutes.

But once I was awake, I was refreshed and invigorated once again! Surprising what a short nap can do for you! We went to a park nearby and rolled around the grass for a bit and then started walking up to Chinatown.

But on the way our eyes caught side of this little store:
It seems to have become tradition to have a mid-day snack of froyo!

Clara got the medium-sized froyo to share with her mom:
  Strawberry-banana froyo with cheesecake bites, mochi, and strawberries

I got the smaller-sized:
Strawberry-banana froyo with blueberries

Okay, bad, baaaad idea. I was immediately frozen in spot once I finished my cold froyo. Cold froyo on a windy San Francisco evening? Someone smack me for being so dumb! But I immediately bought a hot cup of coffee in McDonald’s so that warmed me right back up!

I was actually looking for green tea powder in Chinatown, but was disappointed to find nothing but a lot of dirty markets and Chinese restaurants:
But it sure is much bigger and better than Washington D.C’s mini-mini-mini Chinatown! More like Chinashop.

After that we started walking up towards Fisherman’s Wharf. Oh my God, it’s even colder out there with blustering wind! I tied a scarf around my neck and piled on two jackets, but I found myself shivering from time to time. But luckily we stopped by several shops along the way, and that warmed my frozen butt and hands before popping out into the cold again.
One of the shops we stopped by was this huge candy store to buy some saltwater taffies. And what a surprise!
Free complimentary caramel popcorn! It smelled amazing, and all sticky and crunchy. I didn’t see them giving out free popcorn to other people…I guess they were just mesmerized by my beauty and charm? Yes indeed, that must be it!

On the bay, we also snacked on some fried calamari and fried clams:
Yuck. It was disgusting. Way too salty, and left a unpleasant greasy snot in my tongue. I let my cousin finish it.

Even though we weren’t that hungry from all the snacks, it was getting late and we started wandering around looking for a place to eat. This one particular spot caught our eye:
Yo, it boasts homemade gnocchi! And there were tons of people lining up for a table! That means it had to be good, right?

We ended up waiting and shivering in the cold for about half an hour before we finally got a spot by the corner…outdoors. Ai yi yi! But we were tired and just really needed a place to sit, so we huddled into the cold seats out in the open with the wind blowing into our faces. The waiter served us some Italian bread and focaccia with olive oil/ balsamic vinegar dip:
My cousin wasn’t that hungry after all the snacking, so she decided to just share a dish with my aunt:
 Spaghetti alla Carbonara
 Spaghetti with pancetta, egg, Parmesan cheese, and scallions

Too bad it was all dried-out…and cold! Cold food on a cold night? We got a little ticked off, so we complained to the waiter. The waiter tried to make excuses that all carbonaras are like this, but I interrupted, “I already know what a carbonara is! I’ve made it before and it isn’t supposed to be like this!”

The poor waiter had nothing more to say. He took the dish back and returned with a creamier, hotter dish. I felt sort of bad, but hey, we’re the customers and we pay for good food!

My aunt and cousin also ordered a small Greca salad to share:
 Romaine lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, red bell peppers, red onion, and feta cheese in lemon-herb infused olive oil

I didn’t eat this, but stole some bites of feta.

Now, I know all of  you are gonna groan and moan about the dish I ordered…but I swear I wasn’t gonna order it at first! The gnocchi definitely caught my eye, but I wanted to try something else, a polenta dish with sausages. So I asked my waiter which dishes he would recommend, and he said immediately without a moment’s hesitation: “The gnocchi. Get the gnocchi. It’s the best.” Well, what was I to argue with the expert?
 Homemade ricotta gnocchi with sausages, asparagus, and green peas in creamy gorgonzola sauce
 I’m so glad I listened to the waiter. It was fabulous! This time the gnocchi was perfectly cooked, and so chewy and pillowy, just the way I like it!
The sausage in there was all spicy, and it went so well with the crunch of the asparagus and the soft peas. I finished the whole dish, and licked it clean, literally.

Whew! Now that I have all these food and fun under one post, I sure have enjoyed and pampered myself yesterday! Well, I’m in for two more days of treat, then it’s back to Virginia…I leave Monday night. Sad! But I’m even more determined to enjoy all the time I’ve got left here!

Have a super duper Sunday everyone! I’m off to eat lunch at this place I’ve really really wanted to try…because it’s another huge challenge for me that I’ve been building up my courage and anticipation on! Anybody can guess what that place is? Hint: It’s greasy and can be only found in the west coast. Hee.

I’ll Study Here for the Food

Yo, dudes. Peace in. I’m still alive and cool, thank you very much for those who have been asking . I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to update, but I got back home pretty late Thursday and Friday night. Basically, I was having too much fun to be able to blog. No hard feeling!

Anyway, I’ve been having the most wonderful time with my cousin Clara and aunt. I haven’t seen them in more than 3 years, but the minute we met, we hugged and chatted like we were school friends. I guess you can’t fool blood ties! The minute I arrived in the San Leandro Bart Station, we headed off to the cinema to catch Harry Potter 6. Holy cow. It was a brilliant movie. Did anyone watch it yet?

The next day, we went to Berkeley to visit UC-Berkeley, my cousin’s dream school. She claims it’s the most beautiful and the most spectacular campus, but then it’s the only university she’s visited, and she’s never seen USC’s campus xp.
Okay, fine, so it wasn’t a bad-looking campus; the buildings were sort of Gothic, and rather quaint and charming, and the campus was embraced by lots of beautiful tall trees. But in my most unbiased opinion, it still takes second place to my own college campus (oh, Snap!).

But to give it credit, its food-scene seriously whups USC’s ass. Oh my Lord. For just one university campus serves a whole town of great restaurants and cafes and ice-cream parlors. The best thing is, I don’t see a single McDonald’s or Burger King in sight within a 2-mile radius.

Our first stop, for lunch:
Tomatina, a small Italian restaurant with jazzy and stylish interior design.

My cousin Clara, admiring the chic decos.
Clara and my aunt ordered the lunch special to share, which comes with a bowl of soup and a choice of salad:
 Spaghettini: Shredded roasted chicken breast, fresh spinach, red onion tomato broth and parmesan cheese cooked with thin spaghetti strands
 Roasted tomato soup:
And “Antipasto Style” Salad:
 Salami, mozzarella cheese, olives, pepporoncini peppers, tomato, garbanzo beans, red onion in creamy balsamic vinaigrette
I ordered the Pasta con Crema Gorgonzola:
 Gnocchi with gorgonzola cream sauce, fresh basil, garlic and toasted pine nuts, served on fresh tomato sauce

Every single dish was great. I mean, the pictures speak for themselves. Tomatina was aptly named because I don’t think I have ever tasted better tomato sauce than the one in my dish.
The sauce was vibrant, sweet and tangy, and absolutely bleeding with fresh flavor. Out goes my prejudice that a simple spaghetti with tomato sauce can be boring! If you really know how to make good tomato sauce with fresh ingredients, wow…It just makes the whole dish pop.
The only problem was the gnocchi itself. For some reason it was rather dense and grainy in my mouth. I think it was undercooked, but the gorgonzola cream with the tomato sauce saved the dish from being a disaster.

After our satisfying lunch, we went to shop along Telegraph Avenue, which is a little street with many more hole-in-the-wall restaurants, interesting gift and thrift shops, and street vendors selling eccentric, home-made jewelry.

After a few hours, our feet were killing us, so we stopped at this freaking incredible place for a short break:
 Yogurtland! Anyone been to this place? This place takes the cake over all other froyo shops…It’s self-serve, has about 10 different kinds of flavors, and all these toppings you can pile on yourself! It is charged by weight, and is only 30 cents per ounce!

Here’s mine:
A mix of pistachio, peanut butter, taro, and mango froyo with mochi bites and blueberries
 Here’s Clara’s on the left:
A mix of pistachio, Madagascar vanilla, and original froyo with strawberries, bananas, kiwi, crushed heath bar, gummy worm, and Nilla wafer.

Notice how mine is piled with froyo with minimal toppings, and hers is piled with more toppings than froyo? How do you like your froyo?

To be honest, I really didn’t want to have the froyo. Okay, scratch that, I did want the froyo, but I wasn’t hungry, and I was worried about the upcoming dinner. I became anxious that I might not have enough room in my stomach for dinner, but then I looked at my cousin, digging into the froyo without any qualms or hesitation, and suddenly I just wanted to be the same as her, carefree and liberated. So I threw all caution into the air and dug into my own bowl of froyo with fervor.

After that we lazed in the sun for awhile, then did a bit more shopping around the area. Neither of us were very hungry come dinnertime, but we had to eat, so we stopped by this place:
 Smart Alec’s, another popular “healthy” fast food restaurant.

Clara ordered the Sesame Chicken Salad:
 Romaine and red leaf lettuces, red cabbage, cucumber, crispy rice noodles. topped with our marinated chicken. Tossed in homemade sesame dressing. With a side of moist cornbread:
My aunt got the Avocado Burger Combo:
 Beef patty, special sauce, melted jack cheese, avocado, lettuce, tomato & red onion on wheat bun. With a side of air-baked fries and soda.

I got the Roasted Turkey Sandwich Combo:
 Fresh roasted turkey with cranberry mayo, lettuce, tomato & red onion. With a side of air-baked garlic fries and soda.
 Oo. Eem Gii! Freaking awesome, and it was big and fat!
The cranberry mayo was the star, of course. So creamy, rich, and tart and sweet at the same time!
The fries came with fresh-minced garlic and cilantro(?) on top. I can’t believe it’s air-baked, because it tasted rather greasy to me.

Well, there you have it. UC-Berkeley and its dining scene. Hm, future grad-school perhaps? I’ll move here just for the great food!

Right. Today, I’ll be off with my cousin and aunt to San Francisco’s Mission District. And can I just say, I am loving not knowing and planning all my meals beforehand, and eating and enjoying good food with good company without any guilt or anxieties! Fear food? Huh? What the hell is that?

TTYL my homies!

From being to IN control

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it once again: Anorexia is all about control. We want to control our bodies, we want to control our eating, we want to control our schedules and time. It’s not really about the fear of weight gain or food. It’s more about the fear for the lack on control over our eating and bodies.

It may have started out as a diet with weight loss in mind, but why would I want to continue our strict regimens in eating and exercise when I have reached my goal weight already? The thing is…by then, it’s no longer about the weight. It’s about the high, that delicious euphoria that rushes through me in the belief that I have that power over myself to control my hunger and cravings.

But the sad and pathetic thing is…It’s all an illusion. Because who is really in control here? I am bound by my own fixed set of rules and regulations, I tremble at the sight of fear foods, I force myself to work out fanatically, and I withdraw myself from social activities to avoid eating. Does that sound like I’m being in control here?

One of the key motivators for my recovery was the realization that I’d been deluded for all 4 years of my ED period. I was not in control; I was being controlled. I didn’t choose to not eat; I simply couldn’t eat. I didn’t want to exercise 3 hours a day, I simply had to. I was not the master of my body. I was  a slave to all my serious misconceptions and twisted obsessions.

From then on I started actively and defiantly going against ED. Whatever he ordered, I tried to do the opposite. And you know what? ED is not that strong after all. He really doesn’t have control over me, because once I took measures to be the one truly in control, there was nothing for ED to do but hang by the side and gape like a goldfish.

Some of you might recall when I mentioned that one of my still-remaining fear food was pasta. For some reason, pasta was one of the scariest food for me because of all that overload of carbohydrates. I mean, come on. A big plate of pasta? That is a big dieter’s no-no. And topped with more cream and cheese? That is exactly what a nutritionist recommends you to avoid. 

But I had a goal in mind, and that was to be able to order a full plate of pasta in a restaurant, and enjoy it. As you can recall, I’ve made pasta at home just a few times. I call that the “warm-up” for my big challenge because making my own pasta isn’t as scary because I can determine the amount and ingredients I want.

And today was that big day. Today, I gained back some more control from ED. Today, I eliminated another one of my fear foods.

By a miracle, both my parents and brother was free today, so we decided to have lunch out then go for a walk together around Lake Accotink. After searching up Menupages.com, my brother and I decided on an Italian restaurant called Cafe Oggi.

We were pretty impressed by the decor and relatively bright ambiance as soon as we walked in:

Though it was a little cramped, the decor was warm and elegant.

The waiter served us individually-portioned fresh, warm Italian bread as soon as we sat down:

Which we dipped in herby olive oil:

My mom ordered the Spaghetti Vongole:

Pasta with fresh clams in tomato sauce

My dad ordered the most expensive dish on the menu, the Spaghetti Fra’Diavolo:

Pasta topped with a one-pound lobster in a spicy tomato sauce

My brother, a fast food junkie, surprisingly ordered a “diet”-ish dish, the Trota Alle Erbette:

Fresh rainbow trout with fresh herbs in lemon sauce

And I ordered something I’ve been wanting to try for ages, the Gnocchi Ai Tre Formaggi:

Potato dumplings with arugula in three cheese sauce

Holy Gnocchi! It was goood! The dumpling was so chewy and sticky, and made for a wonderful, fun texture.

The sauce was definitely rich, and I could see the grease from the full-fat cheese and cream, but cheese-whore that I am I used the plump gnocchi to mop up every last bit of the sauce.

Since we are big sharers, we tried each other’s dishes. Every dish was amazing. My mom’s Spaghetti Vongole was really flavorful with succulent clams. My brother’s trout was perfectly cooked, nice and tender.

My dad’s lobster pasta was, undoubtedly, the best. It was worth every penny. Being Korean, he asked for extra-spicy, but ended up having to sprinkle on even more red pepper flakes to suit his spice satisfaction level. He couldn’t finish it though, so I helped myself to almost half his portion.

Wow. If you had told me just a few months back that I would have eaten 70% of that rich and creamy gnocchi dish, and almost 50% of spaghetti with lobster, I would have thought you were on crack. Even now, I can hardly believe it.

I don’t know how to describe this feeling…It’s the same rush of euphoria I used to feel when I was restricting, but so different in that this time, I really am in control. I am free, liberated from my unreasonable fears and anxieties.

Oh, and that’s not all. After our hot and sweaty walk around Lake Accotink, we clambered into a Korean bakery around that area, called Shilla Bakery. And we ordered two of this:

Korean shaved ice!

This is a base of fruits, with a huge ball of sweetened adzuki beans and glutinous rice cakes, topped off with a mountain of shaved ice and sweetened condensed milk.

You mix it all up like this:

And aaaaah…There is no better relief for a hot summer day! I implore you, if you ever find a Korean bakery around your area, ask if they have shaved ice. You won’t regret it!

I’m feeling a bit stuffed. I might have been overzealous and eaten a bit too much, but guess what? I’m still alive, and I’m feeling happier and more triumphant than ever. Today was a huge accomplishment, and I’m gonna relish in that knowledge, and the expectation that there will be many more days of victories to come!

Question of the day: Do you think you are in control of your life? Or is there some things that you feel are controlling you?
And: What is your favorite pasta? Spaghetti? Rigatoni? Spirals? Raviolis? Gnocchi?