Hey there, Ugly!

An anonymous commenter asked why I don’t ever post pictures of myself. This was about the fourth time I got questions like that, so I guess it’s time to answer that.

First of all, I’m still not exactly at a healthy weight right now. I still have some more to go before I meet my ideal weight, and I don’t want to post any pictures of a skinny me that may trigger anybody or give the wrong impression that I’m glorifying a stick-figure.

However, I will be posting pictures of myself soon sometime, once I meet my target weight. I plan to post my “before and after” pictures, and share a bit more about my eating disorder history in details…and one of them will be revealing my previous weight.

But I don’t feel it is the right time to show myself right now…Part of it stems from my self-ego: I want to have that “after” picture with my “before” picture, you know? Also, I am really afraid I might trigger other girls struggling with eating disorders by showcasing just one ED picture me and not the better picture of me without ED.

Still, my “before and after” pictures will probably be the only time I post pictures of myself. Truthfully, I’m not the kind of person who enjoys taking pictures of myself. I don’t really like to look at myself…I rarely even look into the mirror, so plastering big pictures of me all over my blog will just be so unnatural and awkward for me.

Don’t get me wrong. I love seeing other people’s pictures on their blog…it’s nice to see their beautiful faces behind their writing; it shows a more personal side to them. But it’s just not my thing, and seriously, my face is really not much to look at! Food pictures look waaaay more gorgeous than me! So all of you who have been asking me about my pictures…You asked for it, but you’re gonna be disappointed. xp

Speaking of not much to look at…today we had our weekly prayer group at my house again. I was really fretting by this morning because I still had no idea what to make for dinner. I knew I wanted to make something with polenta, but I couldn’t find any recipes online that really hit my fancy. By noon, I was ready to get pizza delivery or just lay out some bread and cheese. Ever heard of writer’s block? I got the cook’s block.

At the last minute I just decided to use whatever’s in the kitchen. I had grits, tomato sauce, andouille sausages, and several types of leftover cheese. This is what I came up with:

Polenta Casserole with Andouille and Apples

For the polenta:

• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 cups chicken broth
• 4 cups water
• 2 bay leafs
• 2 cups grits
• salt and pepper

For the filling:

• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 large onion, diced
• 4 links of Andouille sausages
• 1/2 large apple, diced
• 1 8oz tomato sauce
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
• pinch dried rosemary
• salt and pepper
• 8 oz whipped cottage cheese

For the topping:

• 1 cup Mexican four-blend cheese
• 1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded

For the polenta, just bring everything except the grits to a boil in a large pot. Simmer, then pour in the grits to the  pot in handfuls, whisking constantly until combined. Reduce heat and cook, stirring frequently with a wooden spoon, until water has been absorbed and polenta is thick and creamy. Remove the bay leaves. Pour into a 13-by-9-inch baking dish. Let stand until no longer steaming. Refrigerate, uncovered, until cold and set. Then cut it into strips, cubes, whatever.

For the filling, heat a pan with some oil. Then dump in the garlic, onions, sausages, apples. Let them cook through until soft, then pour in the tomato sauce. Stir, season.

Next, arrange 1/3 of the polenta slices on the bottom of a 9-by-9-inch dish. Pour in half the sausage-apple filling, then spread the cottage cheese on top. Layer the other 1/2 of the remaining polenta slices on top. Top again with the rest of the filling. Then finish off with the rest of the polenta, and sprinkle on all the cheese.

Cover with an aluminum foil and bake in 350 degree oven for about 40-50 minutes. Remove the foil, and bake for about 5 minutes more until the top cheese is nicely melted.

Dang, why do casseroles always turn out looking so freaking ugly?

It looks crappy, no matter at what angle I try to take a picture.

It was really super thick and dense. Quite yummy, though.

The only problem I found was that the polenta was rather mushy. Next time, I’ll just use one layer of the polenta, and then broil it in the oven until it is nice and crunchy before I top it off with the filling and cheese.

By the way, the Warm Fuzzies Game has started off today! I have already notified the first Warm Fuzzy to start the game—I won’t tell you who , so if you get a warm fuzzy comment, please refer to our Warm Fuzzies Page for details on how to continue on the game.

Question of the day: What is your favorite casserole? And why are casseroles so damn ugly?